What do you want from a relationship?
Most of us are defined by our lifestyle, friends and all the other things we like to do. So you’re a single man, she’s a single woman but would you be willing to change a little for a new love prospect? It’s impossible to have your cake and eat it, so what compromises are you willing to make? Remember when you have your first couple of dates everyone’s going to be on their best behavior, and a woman may tolerate the horrible shirt you’re wearing, or even the bar you’re meeting your buddies at. But once you’ve decided it’s a relationship you want to be in, it’s probably time to figure out what you both want. Problems come in a relationships when people are unwilling to change, or unwilling to communicate about their needs clearly.
A woman’s either going to like you or she’s not, so just be yourself. If you’re trying to be somebody you’re not then it’s pretty damn difficult to look genuine. The truth is, most of us are funny enough, smart enough and we already have our own set of individual advantages. So give yourself a chance to let them shine. Be attentive, listen to your date, find out more about them, try to make them smile, and feel comfortable. Remember the reason you’re there is for them, not for the red wine, or because the bar has pay per view. It’s also good idea to leave the tech gadgets behind too. A girl may like your new iPhone 5, but it doesn’t mean a woman wants to see you playing with your apps, or tweeting to your mates about your date. It’s okay to be a geek, geeks are cool now, just be attentive.
Flirting is good
If the date is going badly you’re not going to have to worry about this, because you will know it! But as long as you’re getting on well, and you’re feeling pretty comfortable then why not test the water? I’m not suggesting that you swing your arm around the woman’s shoulders and start grinding hip. I’m talking subtle things, like touching her arm, or standing near her. If your date looks like she’s going to have kittens, or flinches then it’s probably way too early, or worse the attraction is not there. However, if none of these things happen it’s certainly a good clue that things are going as planned.
What if you’re not feeling it?
It happens, attraction is not always mutual by any stretch of the imagination. If you’re not feeling the attraction, then don’t worry carry on with the date, and have a good time. It never hurts to make a new friend. However to give the wrong signals back to a woman would be unfair, I think we’ve all experienced that one.
Listen to your instinct if your “spider sense is tingling” try to end the date at the first polite opportunity. However you might feel, don’t run for the fire exit, or leaving the woman clutching the bill, while you’re climb through the men’s room window. Listen to your instincts, life’s tough enough already without jumping on the crazy train.
Put yourself in the woman’s shoes
You’re not digging it, she’s jumping into the cab and then you lie “I’ll call you!” If she senses the dates not gone well, you’re going to look like a real jerk. If she likes you, you’re going to be feeding a woman false hope and that’s never nice.
Confidence is the key
here’s a huge difference between my obnoxiously arrogant and confident. Women dislike arrogance, but they thrive on confidence. Practice does make perfect, and dating is no exception. My suggestion is that you talk to, or grab a coffee with a as many a woman as you can (mums don’t count). The lucky ladies might be friends or colleagues, it really doesn’t matter. The point is to get out there! Get back into the cut and thrust, it’s especially important if you’re painfully shy. Women like a man who can make eye contact, make decisions and men who are able to talk confidently on different topics. Although it might be an idea to avoid sounding like an expert on playing online games – I’ve met a lot of cool women but none were that cool.
Lack of eye contact is a big one, as is missing physical queues. This or misinterpreting body language can be disastrous in a date. Sometimes it’s as plain as your face, that a woman is interested. But if you’re too shy to return the attention, or you just don’t read it right, you could be missing your chance.
Something else to think about, you’ve had a few dates but you’re still not sure. Then why not introduce her to one of your female friends (again mums don’t count). This way, she can chat woman to woman and perhaps you can get some valuable feedback.
Places you know
It can be very interesting to introduce a date to a nice place you know, but a place they might not. You can use this to your advantage. Let’s face it, the timing of dates is not always synced with when we have lots of cash. The economy is hard everywhere right now, and the job market outright sucks. So why not choose a place where you know the prices are reasonable. It’s the worst feeling in the world to be afraid of what the bill is going to look like. At the end of the day, if you’re happy and relaxed the date will go better. Although KFC is never a good idea unless you’re in high school, just apply some common sense.
The truth is most women are looking for a good, kind guy, who’s genuinely interested in them. Despite movies and what most men think, fast cars, yachts, and diamond rings are not always what women want. There’s a beautiful woman out there for all of us, we just have to look around a bit sometimes.
About The Woman