How To Tell When Your Woman Is Lying

About The Woman - Man, Woman, Liar

by NeoGaboX

How To Know If Your Woman‘s lying Part 1

The woman you love, or perhaps it’s your boyfriend who’s acting strangely – it’s just a feeling but you know something just ain’t right. Are they lying to you? It doesn’t necessarily have to be about love, it could be a scam, but how can you tell? Ignorance is bliss, but “knowing how”,  is much more fun.

The body never lies – nonverbal communication at least makes up for 50% of what we visually communicate, some experts estimate even more than that. However you look at it, nonverbal communication is immensely important. Understanding it can unlock secrets about other’s true intentions.

Body of Lies

These indicators work best when you know the woman or man you’re talking too well, because it will be easier for you to notice unusual body language, and mannerisms. According to Blifaloo.com and other experts if your woman or man appears to be using the following, you might want to take not.

  • Stiff, with limited restrictive physical expressions.
  • Displays body language that is gestured towards themselves, then the woman or man maybe trying to use up less physical space as they lie.
  • Touching their faces, scratching their nose, rubbing behind their ears

If they are doing any of these, they might just be telling you “pork pies” or just generally deceiving you.

Look out for contradictions

Your sitting down to have a coffee with a woman, who just happens to be your partner. You’ve been working a lot recently and she seems to be going out more frequently to see her friend. There’s something about the woman and the way she is behaving that doesn’t feel quite right, but you can’t put your finger on it.

You ask her “so how was Katie last night? You’re seeing a lot of her lately”

She replies enthusiastically “she’s fine, you know she started back at her old job, but she’s really happy”, she smiles a split second after the statement, and despite it’s early promise the wide smile only reaches the corners of her beautiful mouth.

Honest reactions are normally spontaneous and infectious. When somebody is lying or hiding something from you, their gestures, emotions and words may seem to be a little bit out of sync with each other. In the example, the delayed smile after the pretty enthusiastic words is a strong clue that the woman is lying.

The kinds of “out of sync behavior” (like the woman in the example) or delayed emotional reactions to words or actions may take on the following characteristics:

• Timing is off between emotions gestures/expressions and words.

• Gestures/expressions don’t match the verbal statement, such as frowning when saying “I love you.”

• Expressions, smiles are limited to mouth movements instead of infectiously spreading across the face. A genuine smile includes everything from the mouth, eyes jaw, cheeks and even the forehead.

Best defense is offense

The “best defense is offense” is sounds like a cliché, but in this case it might just be true. If your woman or man is on the offense it might be because they are telling the truth, a guilty person will go on the defensive.

Other tell tale signs include:

• A liar turning their head or body away as if they are uncomfortable to face you.

• The woman or man that might be lying to you will look to place a barrier between you, it could be a pen, ashtray, whatever is close to hand.

Next time we will look at more than just body language.

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Forgive Lance Armstrong & Big Fat Momma 

About The Woman - Relationships &Love, Lies

By DonkeyHotkey, Flickr.com

What is love? Why do we sometimes seem so hell bent on destroying our love and relationships. I sometimes think that people are programed to self-destruct. Lance Armstrong is doped, the whole world knows it. But who are the victims? His team mates, marriage, and perhaps a friend or two. After many years of lying he probably doesn’t even have a single friend who would stand by him publicly.

In the fact the whole story reads like the script of Big Fat Momma’s House. A man tries to do something good, but lies – Lance Armstrong. The main character is trying to catch the bad guy and win the day – Tour De France, but along away people start to believe in him. Lance Armstrong  spends the rest of the movie getting into dubious situations while trying maintain his Big Fat Momma disguise. Finally just like the real one (who was also an imposter of the real thing), he gets caught, while trying to do what he feels is right.

The differences are he caught the bad guy (Tour De France) several times and kept on lying – while making tons of cash. Unlike the fake Big Fat Momma, he kept on lying even when the latex mask started to peel off.  Like Big Fat Momma, Lance Armstrong got the girl – seven of them, but he had to give them back.

Lance raises some ugly questions about us – In the general context, and in relationships why do we feel we have to lie? How many times have we, or will lie to our loved ones and friends? Does it really matter if we are trying to do the right thing or wrong thing, then lie? “Oh I was just protecting you”, is that really ever the case? Politicians, husbands, wives, criminals often confess, but when? That’s right, after they were caught. Blah blah hindsight and all that, but I’m not talking about hindsight. What I’m talking about is the need to do lie in first instance – that little white lie. So when do we feel we have to lie in relationships?

You don’t want to be with that woman or man? Then don’t cheat on them. Give him/her a chance to find somebody that does want to be with them. Man up, and just be single. If there are other things you’re lying about, then talk about it with someone. If we can try to understand why we feel, or do things it can be an extremely useful tool in prevention. If we take the example of having an affair, it’s much easier to talk about why we feel the need to cheat with someone, than actually cheating. As a good friend once advised me “It’s the perfect crime, until you get caught.” Don’t do it in the first place and you won’t have to lie.

It’s not my fault, it’s life – I agree to a point. We do have unreal expectations, dumped on us, every where we are told if we drink that beer we get the hot girls, or if we buy the gadget we will look handsome and automatically get a better job. Lance’s case he pretended to be superman and he was in many ways, from cancer to a wonderful athlete. But once he showed the world he was superman, that’s when it all got worse.

If we blame Lance, or even Big Fat Momma, then we need to take a closer look at ourselves. Why do we only confess when we are caught? Why do we feel a need to do this stuff, why are we so destructive? Most importantly for Lance Armstrong and for us, what are the reasons behind our confessions? If we confess only because we were caught, then how are we “or him” going to move forward? I’m not picking on Lance Armstrong (or Big Fat Momma), I’m just using him for SEO, but the question remains why do we get ourselves into these situations?

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Advantages of Dating a Cougar

About The Woman - Advantages of Dating a Cougar

By Fifth World Art, Flickr.com

Forget about dating a younger woman to find love, how about dating the older, more experienced woman! This is exactly what seems to be happening. But why would a much younger man date a cougar? Simply, there are a lot of reasons to find an older woman attractive, you only have to look towards Hollywood for evidence of this. Of course men need women, but what is it that attracts men to mature cougars, is it simply love?

Experience –A lot of men want to look like the strong one in the family, or other relationships, it’s the we are programed. But think about it are we always that confident or self-assured? Of course not, just like anything else it depends on the individual. One thing is for sure, younger people are often attracted to more experienced people, because the appear to be more confident and in control of their relationships.

Stability – The older woman is mature, experienced and self-reliant. Younger women are often more flighty and changeable. Many men also crave stability in a relationships – it’s not just a woman who might want this. Whether that craving for stability extends to financial, or just the sense of it, depends. The older lady is also less likely to play games, and more likely to know what they want from a relationship.

Looking goodAssuming our hot cougar is a career or successful woman, then they will access to beautiful places to do yoga, or stylish gyms and even plastic surgeons. Okay that sounds a little excessive, but the point I’m trying to make is that the modern woman, has lifestyle choices that enable them to keep looking good. It’s not just for the Hollywood elite.

SuccessfulRealistically most men are not looking for a Demi Moore, or any other hot celeb cougars and they don’t have to. The world we live in presents men with plenty of opportunities to find a mature, sexy, successful woman. It’s never been better for women as business or political leaders, the CEO of the New York Times is Jill Abramson, Chritine Lagarde head of the IMF, and Indra Noovi at PepsiCo and I’m just scratching the surface. Politics and self made women also top the Forbes list of powerful people. But you don’t have to date a Forbes list woman either, there are plenty of successful professionals from accountants to doctors everywhere.

Broaden your horizonsBeing with an older woman or man can have it’s own advantages. Take Demi Moore, would Ashton Kutcher ended up on CBSTwo and a Half Men” without the help of Demi? Correct me if I’m wrong but I honestly only remember him in really very bad rom-coms before that. According to New York Post last year recently she took her new love Vito Schnabel to India for a celebrity birthday party. Perhaps she’s changed again. It’s hard to keep track of her relationships. But think about it, what a trip that must have been! He would have been knee deep in a cool place thats oozing with culture, surrounding by the elite and famous. What experience that would have been. It certainly would have broadened all kinds of horizons.

If we are being honest people come together for many reasons, sometimes people will voice them, sometimes not. What is love? It’s different for everyone I think, but one things for sure it’s not easy to find and when cupid strikes what can we do? We should not let age, race or class get in the way that’s for certain. But we should love and not give up on those relationships.

There’s an old Hindu saying goes something like this – there’s many paths to the top of the mountain, the person wasting their time is the man running around the mountain telling others they are taking the wrong path. I agree.

About The Woman

11 Social Media Resolutions For People Like Me

I know how it works. I even have a Twitter account for this blog. But apparently that’s not enough if you want to enjoy a slice of the social media

About The Woman - Twitter Tool

by James G. Milles, Flickr.com

revolution cake! You’ve read all the articles, but you’re still not confident enough to dive into the world of social media. Well that’s kind of how I feel.

So why do people use social media? The answer is as diverse as the number of people using it. Many different kinds of organizations, including charities market Twitter and there’s no doubting the effects of social media on people’s lives. But Guy Kawasaki who’s a venture capitalist (social media icon) summed it up nicely:

There are two kinds of people on social networks: those who want more followers and those who are lying.”

So how well am I doing? I follow 11 twitter accounts and have 3 followers. That’s pathetic I know – my cat could tweet and gain more twitter followers than me. I thought Twitter would somehow magically spring board my blog into success. It seems it’s not that simple, and short of buying Twitter followers it won’t be. This is why I’ve compiled this helpful list of 11 resolutions.

So this year let’s grow our garden of twitter followers, together. Think of it as a guide of sorts, a kind of Twitter for dummies list. Although I mainly mention Twitter, these tips must be relevant to all platforms.

Do your research – There’s a serious amount of info out there that’s written by people who know what they are doing. For example how many twitter accounts should you have? Or how much and how often should you post? Try this great article.

Choose your weapon carefully – What Social media platform? Again do your research. Some social media platforms favor different genders or age groups.

What’s your message – why are you doing this? For example a colleague has suggested that I use Linkedin to help network for my real life job.

Make a schedule – Simply decide when you’re free. It’s not unlike blogging, you need to set aside some time to use and explore.

Stick to it! – I’m being such a hypocrite here but, once you’ve made that schedule, stick to it! You don’t have to purchase Twitter followers, it’s about building relationships and that takes time.

When are they on? – who are you trying to connect with?  Twitter is a very active platform, so it pays to keep your finger on the pulse. You can use different Twitter tools to schedule your tweets, and HootSuite is a good example of an excellent Twitter tool. Although I’m not sure how effective scheduling tweets are.

Engaging content – whatever you are talking, tweeting or posting about. The content needs to be engaging. Spamming your followers with posts, or Twitter promotions will only hurt your Twitter stats. You want to hook them not push them away.

Acts of kindness – according to @TinyBuddha random acts of kindness, that are unmotivated by something you want, can make a difference to followers. Offer to help with something.

Be active not reactive – use your offline time to consider what you’re value to a the social media might be. Put some thought into it, rather than just reacting.

Power down – Arianna Huffington has commented on this, she believes you should take time to power down before sleeping, not emailing and turning all the gadgets off. Basically don’t burn yourself out, take time off to think or rest when you have to.

Enjoy it – It’s damn hard to succeed at anything if you don’t enjoy it.

There’s no secret to building a network of free Twitter followers, it’s just going to take us sometime. If you’re interested in finding out more about Twitter statistics twitaholic.com is a great place to start, it lists all the top Twitter accounts.

So how are you doing with your Twitter? Let me know, I would love to hear from you.

Paparazzi vs Anne Hathaway 2:1

About The Woman - Anne Hathaway, photo woman, woman photo, picture woman, a beautiful woman

by Horustr4n’s, flickr.com

Hollywood’s sweetheart Anne Hathaway’s wedding to Adam Shulman, was perfect friends and family were all there, the kind of wedding any woman would dream about. The wedding planers had done the perfect job. There really was only one problem, yes that’s right wedding crashers and I’m not talking about the movie with Vince Vaughan. You’re probably way ahead of me, and you’re right. I’m talking about the beloved, ever present, yet necessary paparazzi.

Why do I say necessary? Well if you remember the Diana incident several holier than thou celebs jumped on the paparazzi bashing band wagon, and did vehemently in public – which was covered rather ironically by the paparazzi. However it appears that even the paparazzi have feelings because after the event several of crusading stars, failed to get any newspaper attention for their, movies, bust-ups and premiers – the paparazzi boycotted them.

Back to Anne Hathaway. She had no such problem for her wedding as helicopter whizzed overhead, loaded with paparazzi. So we can call that 1:0 to the paparazzi.

But Anne Hathaway was not finished. She announced on David Letterman’s Late Show that she was incredibly angry and frustrated, as they’d tried very to avoid that very situation. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned – she wanted nothing better than to give the paparazzi the finger – can you imagine that! It would have been way better than any scene in her Bride Wars movie. Good sense prevailed, when Adam her hubby, advised against it, according to Dave’s interview.  Then a clever insider came up with the idea to steal the paparazzi’s thunder. They sold authorized pictures to a magazine and donated the proceeds to a support a Gay Charity Group. Very cunning indeed. Anne Hathaway 1, Paparazzi 1 – it’s looking like a draw, but the game’s not over.

If you have been reading the news yesterday and today, you would have seen the video interview of Anne with Dave. Yep, that’s the one, Anne is giving the paparazzi a belated two handed two fingered – up your’s. That showed the paparazzi! They won’t mess with feisty Anne again! Wrong!

Anne is being critically acclaimed and looks a very strong contender to receive and an Academy Award for her role of the emaciated Fantine, in Les Miserables film. As she arrived at the Ziegfeld Theatre wearing her bondage inspired dress, she had the ultimate dress malfunction happened (no photo provided). She stepped out of her SUV, she showed a lot too much leg and not enough underwear to all her Les Miserable fans. In fact there wasn’t any underwear, which was the crux of the problem.

It wasn’t all bad news though. Her friends were there – the paparazzi. The ever vigilant paparazzi, displayed their characteristic determination, and dedication in documenting every single embarrassing moment of the celeb lifestyle (and sell it!). Then bingo!

Final score 2:1 to the paparazzi! But the celeb soccer arena that’s called Hollywood, has many teams and even more players. There are sure to be more close games and re-matches and cries of fowl play. Just keep an eye out for the flashing cameras and for the les miserables caught on film.

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AskMen Hungry For Jennifer Lawrence

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by ElHormiguero, flickr.com

AskMen, asked the world in an international poll, and it’s official Jennifer Lawrence is the most desired woman in the world. You may not actually know the name, I also had to double check, but she’s the woman who rose to fame in the The Hunger Games. Although what may have really helped her was the role in Silver Linings Playbook where she played a sex-mad young widow – doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see how that might have influenced the voting.Bassil editor in chief of AskMen said “Overall, there’s a sense that she’s a little more authentic than other actors.” He also suggested because the public know so little about the 22 year old, there’s really little negative opinion out there about her. In comparison to the success of her movies to date, she’s pretty much avoided any damaging headlines in the media.

How does it work?

The results are taken from 2.4 million readers, the question is: which celebrity would they choose for a partner? Some celebs have fared better than others. Sofia Vergara of Modern Family and the universally popular Kim Kardashian saw their votes go down. Although in Kim’s case plummet would be more accurate. I have to be honest Kim is not one of my favorites either, there’s something about the woman, she is beautiful, savvy, all things that I normally like but, I don’t know. Although I can understand how she got on the list. I’m pretty sure however that she will not be phased by her 90 place drop. On a positive note stars like: Mila Kunis, model Kate Upton, R&B star Rihanna and Emma Stone all managed to make the top 5.

When asked on how men choose their most desirable celebrity partner, Bassil suggested publicity played a big role. He went on to say if celebs were getting a lot of media or headline attention it would have strong influence on men’s opinions. Conversely too many headlines can actually can leave men “looking elsewhere” – so basically he doesn’t know either.

The younger woman weren’t the only age group on the man’s mind this year, the top rankings included a number of 40 year olds. This has been a trend for the last few years apparently. Bassil said “Like most things in life, attractiveness is extending into middle age. Who knows? In 20 years we could see 60-year-olds on the list.”

The over 40s that made the list: U.S. First Lady Michelle Obama, 48; comedienne Sarah Silverman, 42; actress Lucy Liu, 44; and British actress Rachel Weisz, 42.

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Pamela Anderson – Why Can’t Stars Pay Tax?

About The Woman - Pamela Anderson, a woman, photo woman, woman photo, picture woman a beautiful woman

By DARREN ST0NE, flickr.com

We know it, “Tax not so bad a voice to slander music any more than once.” Shakespeare knew it, and now does Pamela Anderson. What does this quote mean? Not sure. But I hope it means he didn’t like taxes either, if it doesn’t I’m going to look a bit daft. There’s one thing that’s certain however, the Baywatch beauty, a woman who’s assets have never gone unnoticed, is now feeling the painfully intense gaze of the IRS. That’s right their scrutinizing her assets, or more precisely the tax income generated by them.

So how much tax trouble can a woman get into? Well according to TMZ, quite a bit. Poor Pam owes the IRS $370,000. It’s far from the first time she has appeared on the top list of delinquent tax payers, she also appeared on it in 2009. What is about the woman and her tax issues? But let’s be fair, she’s not the only one. Stars have had a long troubled relationship with the IRS over the years.

The beloved Lionel Richie had a $1.1 million tax bill slapped into his hand in April, for taxes allegedly unpaid since 2010. He later released a statement that he was unaware of it, and that he was dealing with it.

Tax shy stars

If Richie and Pam weren’t enough then these tax liens (could stay tax Aliens) have been filed to collect by the IRS:

Other tax challenged stars include Lindsay Lohan, who’s rarely out of the headlines owes $230,904, the list goes on. FYI – what’s a federal tax lien? The government’s legal claim against your property.

For the government cash is god! They will only take your property and cars as a last resort. Although it does happen, Willie Nelson famously lost nearly everything in an IRS auction – apparently he hid his guitar.

Why are stars prone to this?

Apparently it is down to massive drops in income! Let’s say you make $10,000.000 as a star then your earnings drops to a tiny amount of $1,000,000, that’s when they get into trouble. Well why didn’t you just say so? Because that makes it all okay, doesn’t it?

But stars can be saved at the last minute, Robert Downey Jr who went to jail for… that’s right drug abuse, fell $2 million behind. But came back with Iron Man.

Power to him for getting clean, and paying his bill. On the other hand, why do we even reward stars who screw up, or seem to treat them so differently? A normal guy who gets a DUI, can’t find a job. What happens to Joe the plumber if he falls behind on taxes? I’m not sure, but I know what won’t happen.

I Started off this post feeling sorry for Pam, but I changed my mind. See the full article here.

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Jennie Garth’s Ex’s New Relationship Stings

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Jennie Garth Beverly Hills 90210 star who was ranked 59th on the FHM 100 Sexiest Women of 2000 admitted that her ex’s (Peter Facineelli) new relationship hurts. But after 11 years of marriage you really can’t blame her. It was about nine months ago when Peter Facinelli announced their divorce. Even though Jennie is making positive steps to move on – she’s dating someone special. It still hurts.

Peter Facinelli announced just last month that he was dating Jaimie Alexander who is a star of the Thor movies and 10 years younger than him.  But that’s okay because he’s a man. He’s definitely not Demi Moore, and there’s no danger of him being compared to a female cougar. Double standards? I think so.

Jennie in my opinion is being a bit more classy about the whole thing and is keeping her lips sealed about who her new flame is. She has so far avoided taking her new man to any blockbuster movie premiers – unlike her Ex! She went on to tell People magazine. “I think there will come a time when it won’t sting so bad, but I’m not quite there yet.”

Despite the sting of it all, the two still remain friends and by all reports she is glad, he is happy with his new relationship. Unlike other Hollywood couples – I’m really tempted to mention certain former bond girl and her men. They have both remained on good terms for the sake of their three lovely daughters Luca, Lola and Fiona.

In rather un-Hollywood fashion they have apparently sat down, and rather sensibly worked out an agreement for sharing their beautiful kids over the Christmas holidays. In Jennie’s own words “We are co-parenting and getting the hang of it”.

About The Woman

Anne Hathaway in Focus

About The Woman - Anne Hathaway, photo woman, woman photo, picture woman, a beautiful woman

by Horustr4n’s, flickr.com

Anne Hathaway in my opinion is probably the most beautiful woman in Hollywood today. She has even been rated as one the Hottest Stars Under 25 back in Teen People Magazine in their June 2002 issue.

Her Early Career

Hathaway is called Annie by her friends and by all who know her best. Annie was born in Brooklyn, New York she studied acting at the Paper Mill Playhouse. Although Halthaway appeared in many plays as a youth, she first grabbed the attention of executives at Miramax when she was playing Megan Green, on the TV series Get Real. She was bold enough even then to turn down a three picture deal with Miramax because she wasn’t happy with the scripts. However it wasn’t until a starring role in The Princess Diaries (2001) opposite Julie Andrews that the offers for movies came flying in. She has recently said in an interview with Glamour magazine:

I was labeled a good girl, and for the first eight years of my career I had to fight to get any other kind of role. But I like fighting for a job, actually. Once you get it, you feel like you’ve emerged victorious from the scrap and you’re like, “OK, this one’s mine.

Her Movies

She was in Broke Back Mountain (2005)! I’m a big movie nut and although I’m a fairly late comer in terms of being a Anne Hathaway admirer, how did I miss it! I’ve only seen the movie 4 times. There’s 4 points here, the topic was very distracting, secondly the cinema photography (actually the best part) was stunning. The late Keith Ledger totally stole the show in terms of acting, or did he? I might be wrong, but was Anne Hathaway was pretty unrecognizable as Jake Gyllenhaal’s wife?  The next year she played another strong role in The Devil Wears Prada (2006), which actually is her best in my opinion. Later roles included Becoming Jane and bit later Rachel Getting Married (2008), which she won an Oscar nomination.

Personal Life

Controversy has followed Anne Hathaway though with her ex-boyfriend Raffaello Follieri was arrested for fraud. Anne was never suspected of anything although allegedly the FBI did take her diary and recently jewelry given to her by Follieri was auctioned by the US Marshalls. Making her next movie Love and Other Drugs with her Broke Back co-star Jake Gyllenhaal helped her get through the tough time. These days Anne is happily married to Adam Shulman, a famous jewelry designer. Anne who was previously a cynic of marriage is loving her new life, and when asked by Glamour – what changed her mind, she replied:

Him. I would never have gotten married if it weren’t for him. He’s a good man. He’s beyond intelligent. He loves fearlessly.”

And..

“But there’s not a lot of positive information out there about marriage. It’s the old ball and chain, the seven-year itch, the divorce rate. Still, my parents have been married for 30 years; his parents have been married for 40 years. Mine had great moments and some really sh-tty moments. But they couldn’t have been married to anyone else, and they make each other better.”

Timeless Beauty?

How beautiful a woman is Anne Hathaway? Is she a timeless beauty comparable to such a woman as Audrey Hepburn? Perhaps.. at least I think so. Although Hepburn and Hathaway come from very different backgrounds – Hepburn was British, and lived Belgium there are some other striking similarities. Both unarguably elegant and beautiful, Hepburn left the whole Hollywood scene do focus on her international charity work – recently Hathaway has become the face of One Billion Rising. When talking to Glamour magazine she said:

It’s hard to wrap my head around the fact that a billion women have been raped or beaten, When I was in college, I’d heard that one in four women would be raped, and I thought, God, that means I must know someone who was raped. Sure enough, I found out a week later that a friend had been. A billion is too big because one is too big.”

Vogue in 2010, Hathaway did a stunning photo shoot which mirrored many of Hepburn most iconic images. If you haven’t seen them you must take a look.

About The Woman - Audrey Hepburn, a woman,  photo woman, woman photo, a beautiful woman

by twm1340, flickr.com

More Recently

Her public roles have not always gone so smoothly. Her the 83rd Academy Awards performance with James Franco totally bombed in front of 35 million viewers. Although the blame was mostly directed at the lack luster Franco.

The trend continued into her next atrocious ensemble the rom-com Valentine’s Day, as well as the comedy Bride Wars. It was later named as being one of the 10 worst chick flicks by Time Magazine. Other critical performances included An Education,  where Hathaway’s mangled British accent drew fire.

The Dark Knight Rises – fanboys of Batman were unsure at the news of Hathaway in the role of Catwoman but she blasted the role, and made it her own. She stood toe to toe with her more famous male co-stars, and shone. She displayed the wiliness and toughness the role needed while being demure and as sexy as Michelle Pfeiffer.  Bringing her critical acclaim from all corners of the industry.

Anne Hathaway may not be popular with everyone, and she has had her fair share of both fans and detractors. But she looks sure to stay, and continues to shine – she is a strong competitor for the next an Academy Awards  for her role in Les Miserables.

Demi Moore The Cougar?

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By TechCrunch50-2008, flickr.com

Demi Moore is apparently dating another younger man 26 years old! Is she alone? Valerie Gibson, a famous Canadian celebrity who wrote for the Toronto Sun newspaper as their their sex and relationship columnist. It’s said she was the first to have coined the phrase “cougar” which refers to the older woman dating the younger man. Gibson herself has been married 5 times, the last time was to a man years younger than her.

So what do we do? Do we shame, ignore them or congratulate them for still being sexy, attractive empowered women? Are we even being fair in regards to this topic,  I pretty sure Bruce Willis has dated much younger women. It’s normal such a normal thing in Hollywood for man to date the younger woman, it’s so normal that people hardly talk about it. Double standards? I say hell yes! But what do you think?

Historical cougars

So why are young guys even dating older cougars, in the first place? What is it about the woman who’s a little older? Possibly there’s too much competition for younger girls? Possibly because the older successful man is snapping up the younger woman at every opportunity, at least it’s seem this way with the celebs and elite.  I’m not sure it’s even fair to be focusing on the cougars themselves, it does take two to tango afterall. Perhaps it’s the fashion for the younger man to date the older woman. Maybe it’s the guys who chooses to hunt for the older beautiful woman and not the other way around.

Younger men have been attracted to powerful women since long before we came up modern day concepts of right or wrong.  Such cougars included, Elizabeth I, Catherine the Great, more recently Elizabeth Taylor and even a goddess – guess that would be the ultimate cougar catch. I wouldn’t want to be the young buck dumping Aphrodite, I bet she would do than just divorce you and take the dog. See full article.

Why now?

So what’s happening why does it seem to be a bit of trend at the moment? For decades women have been fighting for more equality, and since the 1950, 60’s, and 70’s the woman’s lifestyle, image and life choices have improved immensely. But what has changed? Women have better jobs, they have  equality, both in the law and in society’s eyes. Women’s health has also be brought into the fore of the  public’s consciousness.  Divorce rates in most western countries have sky rocketed since the 1980’s, you could say that the fall of religion is to blame, or even the stresses of modern life. However I’d like to thing a big contributing factor would be the increased ability of the woman to make her own marital choices, and to seize their own fate, free of public judgement or contempt.

Whatever lead to the present is one huge question and I’m not an expert. But what I know is that there are a lot of women over 40 who are empowered, wealthy or financially stable. A young woman is drawn to an older strong man. So why can’t the same be said of a young man to a  mature empowered woman? There’s simply no reason at all. Gone are they days where a divorced, or the widowed woman is expected to just fade away and become old maids. So what so special about the woman now? Nothing really but they do have the same rights to go out, and do the same stupid, smart things or even questionable things that a man can do. Although this is not the case in every country, but women have earned the right to be a cougar, if that’s what they want to do. Life’s too damn short.

I say power to Demi! I just hope she takes a bit more care of her heart and mind this time. I also wish good luck to whoever she dates. Demi is a talented actress, a mother and incredibly beautiful woman. She in many ways is the ultimate cougar, am I jealous? Maybe just a little.

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