Clothes He Wants a Woman to Wear

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By Ali Leila Images, Flickr.com

I agree that when it comes to themselves men can often be a bit “slapdash”, perhaps even “sloppy”. A shower, shave, brush our teeth, chuck on a pair jeans and that’s the job done in less than 20 mins! That’s how it works for most situations. Okay some guys do take longer, some girls less, but generally speaking this is how “us guys” roll.

So by our seemingly carefree way of getting ready, you’d think we didn’t care about what our woman is wearing – you’d be wrong! We may sit there slurping our beer pushing very specific buttons on our remote controls, looking all sedate, but we are always quietly observing like male lions on the African Savanna. And believe it or not, we actually care a great deal about how you dress. We may not throw tantrums or complain, but secretly there’s clothes we want you to wear, and there’s the clothes we don’t.

Anything tight – “you didn’t need me to point this one out I know”, but it’s the truth the majority of men like a woman to wear something that hugs the figure. Men enjoy the curves of a woman, and generally like to see the woman’s shape and form. Of course there are always some exceptions, some clothes do look really good loose.

Just hanging out – one of the woman’s favorite clothes on a bloke, is a pair god fitting jeans. Now here’s the thing, men aren’t so different after all. For just hanging out, snug fitting jeans and off the shoulder t-shirt will do the job nicely. Denim shorts also figure quite highly, at least from a man’s point of view.

Nights out – this might be the biggest challenge for a woman, how to look “sexy” and “classy” but not “trashy”. It’s not rocket science but men generally don’t find mismatching outfits that appealing, but we do like most most things short and matching. Yes it’s a cliché “that little black dress” – just make sure it’s not too short, it’s a good idea not to cross that line from hot look, to the working girl look. By the way that little black dress doesn’t necessarily have to be “black” men are not color blind we also like other colors too.

Shoes are made for walking – When it comes to the “wow sexy factor” , men love their woman to wear heels. Personally I love the elongated look those shoes give any woman’s leg, it’s a non fail – unless you don’t know how to walk in them. So if you’re planning to walk all over your man, these are the shoes you should be wearing. Just make sure your not wobbling like a cute baby stalk, or stomping like a scary storm trooper.

In the bedroom – I’ve always loved Christmas, nicely wrapped gifts and decorations. For me it’s the same for my bedroom partner. If she wants sparks to fly, then a matching set of sexy lingerie will do the trick. Again mismatching is a bit of let down for me, but I’m sure there’s a rainbow of preferences out there. Many other guys will go for simple t-shirts, tank tops or even shorts.

The stuff that gets us excited may vary but I’m betting the stuff that turns us off, isn’t. Universal turn offs are granny nighties and thick winter pajamas.

It’s important to remember the woman is their own biggest critic when comes to her figure. There’s something about the woman that brings out this inner critic, perhaps it’s the unfair “barbie pressure” from the media. But men love their women, along with all their wonderful physical imperfections! So don’t worry about wearing something to impress your man, because he won’t!

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How To Tell When Your Woman Is Lying

About The Woman - Man, Woman, Liar

by NeoGaboX

How To Know If Your Woman‘s lying Part 1

The woman you love, or perhaps it’s your boyfriend who’s acting strangely – it’s just a feeling but you know something just ain’t right. Are they lying to you? It doesn’t necessarily have to be about love, it could be a scam, but how can you tell? Ignorance is bliss, but “knowing how”,  is much more fun.

The body never lies – nonverbal communication at least makes up for 50% of what we visually communicate, some experts estimate even more than that. However you look at it, nonverbal communication is immensely important. Understanding it can unlock secrets about other’s true intentions.

Body of Lies

These indicators work best when you know the woman or man you’re talking too well, because it will be easier for you to notice unusual body language, and mannerisms. According to Blifaloo.com and other experts if your woman or man appears to be using the following, you might want to take not.

  • Stiff, with limited restrictive physical expressions.
  • Displays body language that is gestured towards themselves, then the woman or man maybe trying to use up less physical space as they lie.
  • Touching their faces, scratching their nose, rubbing behind their ears

If they are doing any of these, they might just be telling you “pork pies” or just generally deceiving you.

Look out for contradictions

Your sitting down to have a coffee with a woman, who just happens to be your partner. You’ve been working a lot recently and she seems to be going out more frequently to see her friend. There’s something about the woman and the way she is behaving that doesn’t feel quite right, but you can’t put your finger on it.

You ask her “so how was Katie last night? You’re seeing a lot of her lately”

She replies enthusiastically “she’s fine, you know she started back at her old job, but she’s really happy”, she smiles a split second after the statement, and despite it’s early promise the wide smile only reaches the corners of her beautiful mouth.

Honest reactions are normally spontaneous and infectious. When somebody is lying or hiding something from you, their gestures, emotions and words may seem to be a little bit out of sync with each other. In the example, the delayed smile after the pretty enthusiastic words is a strong clue that the woman is lying.

The kinds of “out of sync behavior” (like the woman in the example) or delayed emotional reactions to words or actions may take on the following characteristics:

• Timing is off between emotions gestures/expressions and words.

• Gestures/expressions don’t match the verbal statement, such as frowning when saying “I love you.”

• Expressions, smiles are limited to mouth movements instead of infectiously spreading across the face. A genuine smile includes everything from the mouth, eyes jaw, cheeks and even the forehead.

Best defense is offense

The “best defense is offense” is sounds like a cliché, but in this case it might just be true. If your woman or man is on the offense it might be because they are telling the truth, a guilty person will go on the defensive.

Other tell tale signs include:

• A liar turning their head or body away as if they are uncomfortable to face you.

• The woman or man that might be lying to you will look to place a barrier between you, it could be a pen, ashtray, whatever is close to hand.

Next time we will look at more than just body language.

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Judo Woman – Keiko Fukuda, Wish You Were My Granny

About The Woman - Judo Woman

by Angelcortada, Flickr.com

When I was in school – I used to get a bit of a hard time, because at that time I was taller than most. So you know how kids are. After years of sibling violence by my two bigger sisters, I could take of myself! But was still a gentle soul. So I tried to avoid fighting unless I had to.

My big sister was a tough nut, with some pretty rough friends she routinely promised to (saying this politely) “punish my bullies”! A boy having his big sister or any woman beat up his bullies? Not cool, not cool at all! I wanted a big brother desperately, but you don’t always get what you want.

Not about me – Relax it’s not a post about my family history. I was reading the news yesterday and one thing jumped out a cool story about a 99 year old female Judo master “ Keiko Fukuda” who sadly passed away, this week. You’ve probably read the same story, it was everywhere. Even though it’s a sad story it’s also a cool one, because until her death she was the highest ranked woman in the world in Judo. That got me thinking, what an epic grandmother she would’ve been! Like a big sister, mum, teacher and big brother all rolled into one small tough bundle. Can you imagine in the playground:

“my dads bigger than your dad”

“my dad could beat the jelly out off your dad”

“my granny could beat the bejeebers out of both your dads, their brothers and Chuck Norris!”

Keiko Fukuda – All joking aside the life of Keiko Fukuda was an amazing person. Her grandfather “Fukuda Hachinosuke” was a samurai, and Jujutsu master. One of her grandfather’s students founded Judo! If that wasn’t amazing enough there was something special about this woman from an early age, when she chose to study Judo – at a time when women didn’t practice the art! She was the student of 3 Jujutsu masters in her time, studied Judo under the founder of Judo (Kanō Jigorō)! Not only the highest ranking woman in Judo, but in the history of Judo! What an inspiration she is.

I read somewhere that when she started, her family thought she might marry a Judo teacher rather than actually studying it seriously (they got that one wrong), which wasn’t the done thing for a Japanese woman of that generation. However sadly she never married or had kids. She was quoted as saying one of her earliest concerns about studying Judo, was having to “spread her legs”. If you know anything about Asian culture, especially Japanese culture that’s pretty taboo even now. Whether you agree or not, women need to sit politely in most social situations, so can you imagine what it would have been like a 90 years ago! On the other hand if you know anything about martial arts, balance and strong wide stance is crucial in defense and offense, which I guess really went against the grain for a Japanese woman of those times.

Her personal motto was: “Be gentle, kind, and beautiful, yet firm and strong, both mentally and physically.”

Keiko Fukuda, was a real pioneer for the sport of Judo, and for women practicing martial arts. Rest in peace Judo, Jujutsu samurai grandmother! Wish you’d been there instead of my big sister and you were way cooler than my hypercondriac , smoking, complaining, tight fisted granny.

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Woman Marries Twin Sister’s Killer

About The Woman - Strange Love

by thezartorialist.com, Flickr.com

Strange love

A woman’s body was found in the town of Pico Truncado in southern Santa Cruz province in 2010. It turned out to be Edith Casas‘ twin sister “Johana Casas”. She was shot to death. A sad story indeed, but it took a twist. This woman went on to marry her sister’s convicted killer, last (Victor Cingolani) last week – Valentine’s Day.

It reads like some kind of “B-Movie horror script”, but it really happened! So honestly this got me thinking. What kind of woman or person might be attracted to such a guilty looking individual. Edith Casas has polarized her home country “Argentina” not to mention her family. What it is about the woman? Edith believes the evidence is insufficient, but what kind of person would take a chance on marrying her sister’s killer?

Convict love

But should we be so quick to judge? Doesn’t a similar thing happen in the states? The USA’s prison population per 100,000 ranks as the highest in the world. With a prison population of about 1.6 million, it’s unsurprising that the USA has it’s own share of convict love.

Abc covered the case of Tim McDonald and Teresa Deion Smith Harris. The two had never spent a night together, and more than likely (at the time of writing) never would, but they got married anyway. He is a convicted killer, serving a life sentence without the possibility of parole.

Teresa is not alone either, thousands like her get involved in such relationships. In a similar case Jennifer Hyatte who was a nurse at a correctional facility, had an inappropriate relationship with her convict lover and was later fired. Details are sketchy, but in 2004 they were both on the run after she killed a guard to spring him from custody. I think it’s safe to say she loved him too.

Prison officials say inmates convicted of the most heinous crimes tend to attract the most attention from pen pals”

Why are they attracted?

Edith’s and her Victor Cingolani’s situation does have some similarities, but they also allegedly they knew each before the murder took place. Although that fact doesn’t make it any less unusual.

What’s the psychology behind this? Is it a case of love being blind? According to an article by trutv.com – experts suggest there are several reasons why a woman might fall in love or develop feelings for convicted killer.

  • Need to nurture – a woman may see the little lost boy inside.
  • The perfect boyfriend – it’s the perfect boyfriend, the woman knows exactly where he is & what he’s doing (mostly) also don’t have those everyday issues: did you take out the trash?
  • Hybristophilia – other people’s violent acts can be a turn on
  • Exclusivity – they exclusively know their lovers facts & crimes, privy to their story
  • Vicarious fantasies – their lover has acted out their violent fantasies
  • Low self-esteem
  • Eminence – high profile killers give them status
  • Beauty and the Beast syndrome – moth & flame scenario

(The reverse instances of males falling in love with convicted female killers rarely takes place however – I wonder why)

Edith’s belief in her husband’s may yet to turn out to be justified – it wouldn’t be the first time a person has been wrongly convicted. I hope for her sake she’s right.

On the other hand, they did choose Valentine’s Day to tie the knot! Anyone who’s seen or heard anything about this story must think that’s nuts all on it’s own – especially if you’ve looked at the suggested psychological reasoning. There’s only two ways to see this. It’s either the noblest and greatest declaration of love a person could make, or it’s the biggest craziest poke in the eye.

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Sex Addiction Fact or Fantasy?

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By Jessicalrone, Flickr.com

Which of these isn’t a real disorder? Choose one: a) sex addiction b) hoarding c) binge eating. Okay I guess the title of my blog gives you a clue. Yep, you know how I think it’s sex addiction.

Okay so now you’re wondering who decides.It’s a good question because oddly enough it sounds very plausible to me, certainly at least as much as hoarding. But there again I’ve never known a hoarder, I mean a sex addict! Getting back to the question.. in the USA it’s the American Psychiatric Association (APA) who decides, and last December they decided not to include sex addiction in their health handbook.

But I guess people can get addicted to anything right? It’s one thing when APA says there’s no such thing, butwhat about the string of famous personalities who’ve either demonstrated this behavior or openly admitted it? So I’m betting all the high end psychotherapists are not writing this one addiction off so quickly. Especially when such big names as Tiger Woods, David Duckovny have demonstrated sex addiction like tendencies. Okay these stars are not official sex addicts, but there are more than a few male celebs who’ve gone on the record as being.Micheal Douglas, was a famous womanizer before our dear Catherine whipped him into shape. Kayne West and Charlie Sheen have both gone on record as being sex addicts – but there again those pair will say almost anything.So far I’ve only mentioned guys, but don’t worry there are some girls too. However most of them like Jennie Ketcham either worked in the adult movie industry before hand, or had suffered with other several addictions, which dubiously coincided with TV shows.

Just how many people are addicts? This is just a weird coincidence I promise you, but I’m writing this article at a hotel, in Hong Kong that charges $50 dollars for using the internet, for which I’m too mean to pay. But from earlier research, I found the estimates in the UK are that 6% of a population is sex addicted and one in five women. Rather selectively I don’t have the numbers for men, but it wouldn’t surprise if it was more.

So just in case, any rich celebs are reading this what are the symptoms? Apparently “recurrent and intense sexual fantasies, sexual urges, and sexual behavior,” we all have these right? But if all these urges last several months then you’re in trouble. Phew.. it’s a relief it doesn’t really exist, because if it did every teenage boy on the globe and several of my friends would have to seek professional help.

On a serious note, addictions of any kind can be very devastating with long last repercussions on the lives of the people it affects. But what are the official symptoms (before the APA changed their mind)? Like other addictions the person is driven to seek out and engage in the act seeking all the benefits and ignoring the negative impacts. According to a BBC Health article, casual sex and general JFK marital behavior are not the only symptoms. More precise ones may include:

  • Excessive use of pornography
  • Feeling worried about the possible behavior
  • Wanting to stop or change your sexual behaviour
  • Feeling unable to stop, despite wanting to
  • Using sex as a way to cope with other problems
  • Needing more sex to get the same fulfillment
  • Feeling very low or guilty after
  • Spending large amounts of time planning or engaging in sex
  • Missing important social events or even work in order to pursue sex

So what’s the treatment? The worst thing would be to find another addiction – it’s sounds kind of funny, but in my personal experience people who are addicted to one thing are often predisposed to other forms as well. With all addictions the first and most important step is admitting to having a problem.

The debate is still open, whether it exists or not, or whether it’s a compulsive behavioral or addiction. However the treatment would involve psychological therapies, behavioral therapies all leading to the person understanding their condition and the consequences.

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Advantages of Dating a Cougar

About The Woman - Advantages of Dating a Cougar

By Fifth World Art, Flickr.com

Forget about dating a younger woman to find love, how about dating the older, more experienced woman! This is exactly what seems to be happening. But why would a much younger man date a cougar? Simply, there are a lot of reasons to find an older woman attractive, you only have to look towards Hollywood for evidence of this. Of course men need women, but what is it that attracts men to mature cougars, is it simply love?

Experience –A lot of men want to look like the strong one in the family, or other relationships, it’s the we are programed. But think about it are we always that confident or self-assured? Of course not, just like anything else it depends on the individual. One thing is for sure, younger people are often attracted to more experienced people, because the appear to be more confident and in control of their relationships.

Stability – The older woman is mature, experienced and self-reliant. Younger women are often more flighty and changeable. Many men also crave stability in a relationships – it’s not just a woman who might want this. Whether that craving for stability extends to financial, or just the sense of it, depends. The older lady is also less likely to play games, and more likely to know what they want from a relationship.

Looking goodAssuming our hot cougar is a career or successful woman, then they will access to beautiful places to do yoga, or stylish gyms and even plastic surgeons. Okay that sounds a little excessive, but the point I’m trying to make is that the modern woman, has lifestyle choices that enable them to keep looking good. It’s not just for the Hollywood elite.

SuccessfulRealistically most men are not looking for a Demi Moore, or any other hot celeb cougars and they don’t have to. The world we live in presents men with plenty of opportunities to find a mature, sexy, successful woman. It’s never been better for women as business or political leaders, the CEO of the New York Times is Jill Abramson, Chritine Lagarde head of the IMF, and Indra Noovi at PepsiCo and I’m just scratching the surface. Politics and self made women also top the Forbes list of powerful people. But you don’t have to date a Forbes list woman either, there are plenty of successful professionals from accountants to doctors everywhere.

Broaden your horizonsBeing with an older woman or man can have it’s own advantages. Take Demi Moore, would Ashton Kutcher ended up on CBSTwo and a Half Men” without the help of Demi? Correct me if I’m wrong but I honestly only remember him in really very bad rom-coms before that. According to New York Post last year recently she took her new love Vito Schnabel to India for a celebrity birthday party. Perhaps she’s changed again. It’s hard to keep track of her relationships. But think about it, what a trip that must have been! He would have been knee deep in a cool place thats oozing with culture, surrounding by the elite and famous. What experience that would have been. It certainly would have broadened all kinds of horizons.

If we are being honest people come together for many reasons, sometimes people will voice them, sometimes not. What is love? It’s different for everyone I think, but one things for sure it’s not easy to find and when cupid strikes what can we do? We should not let age, race or class get in the way that’s for certain. But we should love and not give up on those relationships.

There’s an old Hindu saying goes something like this – there’s many paths to the top of the mountain, the person wasting their time is the man running around the mountain telling others they are taking the wrong path. I agree.

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If Only Santa Was a Woman – Unwanted Gifts

About The Woman - a woman, beautiful woman, middle aged woman, a girl, Christmas, woman, Mrs Santa, Mrs Claus

by North Charelston, flickr.com

Christmas friend or foe, either way it’s gone for another year. But what’s left? Big stomachs, ruined bank accounts, headaches, screaming kids that don’t want to go back to school, more than a few unwanted gifts, and that’s just me! So how about the rest of the world? But seriously what do you do?

Why do we even buy presents in the first place? Guys will buy a gift for a woman they love and other people will buy fabulous gifts which are loaded down with good intentions. But what is it? Guilt, pressure, love or just simply a case of keeping up with the Joneses? One thing for certain, the original religious concept has become somewhat neglected, forgotten or even shunned by popular opinion. Even when we do remember the genesis of the idea, it’s molded into plastic and sold as an action figure.

What about all those gifts we don’t want? The advertisements, pressure from colleagues, commercials for credit cards and loans offer no advice. All these tools of commercialism only point in one direction, and that’s towards the checkout. There are however a few shining lights out there from the odd individual, to the online business. Some of these offer useful solutions to the overdose of unwanted presents.

Not everybody is out to make a quick buck from our problems, according to a story by Reuters there’s actually a pretty cool shop in Slovenia which opened just in time for Christmas.  The idea behind the shop is simple yet important.  Basically if you don’t like a gift then simply change it for one you like.  To quote the shop owner “people get and give too many present nowadays” and I think the shop owner is 100% right.

In some cultures especially in China cash really is king when it comes to gifts. Yes you could say it’s a cold, perhaps even an unthoughtful kind of gift – but there’s no denying its versatility.

Gift cards are increasingly popular gifts, I especially like them when it comes to kids. As opposed to cash, it allows you moderate control on what they kids will blow their money on. But these sentiments maybe the thing’s biggest downfall. What happens when you get a gift to a shop you stylistically have nothing in common with? What are your options if you have a gift card you don’t like, can you take it back to the shop in question and get the cash? Not likely, at least not in that shop. But there are ways according to The Daily Beast.

Cash back sites – the middle man will take a cut!

Giftcards.com, will assess the cash back value, mail you a check or even transfer funds via paypal. Gift Card Granny, it’s a smiliar variation on the above, it scans sites that will give you the most value for you card.Just be prepared to make a small loss on the value of the gift card.

Then you have old faithful – Ebay. There’s always loads of people who are wanting to get their hands on a bargain. But you will have to prepared to sell for a lesser amount, but it’s better than being stuck with a card you hate.

Other options

Gift card rescue, works with Amazon, you get a bonus 5 percent for changing it too an Amazon gift card. Cardpool, works much the same way.

Charities can benefit too. Plastic Jungle allows you to donate the cash on the card to a worthy charity, its aligned with a few such as Red Cross. Plastic Jungle rather cunningly allows you add air miles as well, in cooperation with United Airlines.

Traditional gifts

If the gift is a more traditional kind of gift you can deal with it in similar ways. You could try holding a swap party. People rewrap the gifts they don’t want, and give them to someone else – of course they ran the risk of getting disappointed twice. Or you could do it the boring way and not wrap them – an episode of The office springs to mind. Just make sure things are of a similar value!

Returning stuff to the stores can be an option. It depends on the store of course, not all stores have equal policies on returning gifts. Just check the policies for online and locations for shops. But of course if it’s given to you then you might have little choice, you’re going to have to roll with the punches.

Re-gifting, I have done this and felt horrible about it. But that doesn’t mean you have to. In my case I had to go back overseas and didn’t have the luggage space, so I off loaded the gift and saved time, and money (but it still didn’t feel right). Although seriously why not? I think the key issue is, to choose more carefully than the person who you gifted it to you in the first place. The lucky person might appreciate it more than you did.

Donate it! Just like the gift cards, donating something can be a rewarding experience and in my book a much nicer feeling option than just simply re-gifting. I have a friend who just a few years ago, gave 100’s of man sized teddy bears to a load of kids that needed a bit of happiness in their lives – although in this case they were just extra teddies from the factory. But honestly the kids didn’t care about how they got them, they were happy just the same.

About The Woman, Merry Christmas Everyone!