Clothes He Wants a Woman to Wear

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By Ali Leila Images, Flickr.com

I agree that when it comes to themselves men can often be a bit “slapdash”, perhaps even “sloppy”. A shower, shave, brush our teeth, chuck on a pair jeans and that’s the job done in less than 20 mins! That’s how it works for most situations. Okay some guys do take longer, some girls less, but generally speaking this is how “us guys” roll.

So by our seemingly carefree way of getting ready, you’d think we didn’t care about what our woman is wearing – you’d be wrong! We may sit there slurping our beer pushing very specific buttons on our remote controls, looking all sedate, but we are always quietly observing like male lions on the African Savanna. And believe it or not, we actually care a great deal about how you dress. We may not throw tantrums or complain, but secretly there’s clothes we want you to wear, and there’s the clothes we don’t.

Anything tight – “you didn’t need me to point this one out I know”, but it’s the truth the majority of men like a woman to wear something that hugs the figure. Men enjoy the curves of a woman, and generally like to see the woman’s shape and form. Of course there are always some exceptions, some clothes do look really good loose.

Just hanging out – one of the woman’s favorite clothes on a bloke, is a pair god fitting jeans. Now here’s the thing, men aren’t so different after all. For just hanging out, snug fitting jeans and off the shoulder t-shirt will do the job nicely. Denim shorts also figure quite highly, at least from a man’s point of view.

Nights out – this might be the biggest challenge for a woman, how to look “sexy” and “classy” but not “trashy”. It’s not rocket science but men generally don’t find mismatching outfits that appealing, but we do like most most things short and matching. Yes it’s a cliché “that little black dress” – just make sure it’s not too short, it’s a good idea not to cross that line from hot look, to the working girl look. By the way that little black dress doesn’t necessarily have to be “black” men are not color blind we also like other colors too.

Shoes are made for walking – When it comes to the “wow sexy factor” , men love their woman to wear heels. Personally I love the elongated look those shoes give any woman’s leg, it’s a non fail – unless you don’t know how to walk in them. So if you’re planning to walk all over your man, these are the shoes you should be wearing. Just make sure your not wobbling like a cute baby stalk, or stomping like a scary storm trooper.

In the bedroom – I’ve always loved Christmas, nicely wrapped gifts and decorations. For me it’s the same for my bedroom partner. If she wants sparks to fly, then a matching set of sexy lingerie will do the trick. Again mismatching is a bit of let down for me, but I’m sure there’s a rainbow of preferences out there. Many other guys will go for simple t-shirts, tank tops or even shorts.

The stuff that gets us excited may vary but I’m betting the stuff that turns us off, isn’t. Universal turn offs are granny nighties and thick winter pajamas.

It’s important to remember the woman is their own biggest critic when comes to her figure. There’s something about the woman that brings out this inner critic, perhaps it’s the unfair “barbie pressure” from the media. But men love their women, along with all their wonderful physical imperfections! So don’t worry about wearing something to impress your man, because he won’t!

About The Woman

How To Tell When Your Woman Is Lying

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by NeoGaboX

How To Know If Your Woman‘s lying Part 1

The woman you love, or perhaps it’s your boyfriend who’s acting strangely – it’s just a feeling but you know something just ain’t right. Are they lying to you? It doesn’t necessarily have to be about love, it could be a scam, but how can you tell? Ignorance is bliss, but “knowing how”,  is much more fun.

The body never lies – nonverbal communication at least makes up for 50% of what we visually communicate, some experts estimate even more than that. However you look at it, nonverbal communication is immensely important. Understanding it can unlock secrets about other’s true intentions.

Body of Lies

These indicators work best when you know the woman or man you’re talking too well, because it will be easier for you to notice unusual body language, and mannerisms. According to Blifaloo.com and other experts if your woman or man appears to be using the following, you might want to take not.

  • Stiff, with limited restrictive physical expressions.
  • Displays body language that is gestured towards themselves, then the woman or man maybe trying to use up less physical space as they lie.
  • Touching their faces, scratching their nose, rubbing behind their ears

If they are doing any of these, they might just be telling you “pork pies” or just generally deceiving you.

Look out for contradictions

Your sitting down to have a coffee with a woman, who just happens to be your partner. You’ve been working a lot recently and she seems to be going out more frequently to see her friend. There’s something about the woman and the way she is behaving that doesn’t feel quite right, but you can’t put your finger on it.

You ask her “so how was Katie last night? You’re seeing a lot of her lately”

She replies enthusiastically “she’s fine, you know she started back at her old job, but she’s really happy”, she smiles a split second after the statement, and despite it’s early promise the wide smile only reaches the corners of her beautiful mouth.

Honest reactions are normally spontaneous and infectious. When somebody is lying or hiding something from you, their gestures, emotions and words may seem to be a little bit out of sync with each other. In the example, the delayed smile after the pretty enthusiastic words is a strong clue that the woman is lying.

The kinds of “out of sync behavior” (like the woman in the example) or delayed emotional reactions to words or actions may take on the following characteristics:

• Timing is off between emotions gestures/expressions and words.

• Gestures/expressions don’t match the verbal statement, such as frowning when saying “I love you.”

• Expressions, smiles are limited to mouth movements instead of infectiously spreading across the face. A genuine smile includes everything from the mouth, eyes jaw, cheeks and even the forehead.

Best defense is offense

The “best defense is offense” is sounds like a cliché, but in this case it might just be true. If your woman or man is on the offense it might be because they are telling the truth, a guilty person will go on the defensive.

Other tell tale signs include:

• A liar turning their head or body away as if they are uncomfortable to face you.

• The woman or man that might be lying to you will look to place a barrier between you, it could be a pen, ashtray, whatever is close to hand.

Next time we will look at more than just body language.

About The woman

Woman Marries Twin Sister’s Killer

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by thezartorialist.com, Flickr.com

Strange love

A woman’s body was found in the town of Pico Truncado in southern Santa Cruz province in 2010. It turned out to be Edith Casas‘ twin sister “Johana Casas”. She was shot to death. A sad story indeed, but it took a twist. This woman went on to marry her sister’s convicted killer, last (Victor Cingolani) last week – Valentine’s Day.

It reads like some kind of “B-Movie horror script”, but it really happened! So honestly this got me thinking. What kind of woman or person might be attracted to such a guilty looking individual. Edith Casas has polarized her home country “Argentina” not to mention her family. What it is about the woman? Edith believes the evidence is insufficient, but what kind of person would take a chance on marrying her sister’s killer?

Convict love

But should we be so quick to judge? Doesn’t a similar thing happen in the states? The USA’s prison population per 100,000 ranks as the highest in the world. With a prison population of about 1.6 million, it’s unsurprising that the USA has it’s own share of convict love.

Abc covered the case of Tim McDonald and Teresa Deion Smith Harris. The two had never spent a night together, and more than likely (at the time of writing) never would, but they got married anyway. He is a convicted killer, serving a life sentence without the possibility of parole.

Teresa is not alone either, thousands like her get involved in such relationships. In a similar case Jennifer Hyatte who was a nurse at a correctional facility, had an inappropriate relationship with her convict lover and was later fired. Details are sketchy, but in 2004 they were both on the run after she killed a guard to spring him from custody. I think it’s safe to say she loved him too.

Prison officials say inmates convicted of the most heinous crimes tend to attract the most attention from pen pals”

Why are they attracted?

Edith’s and her Victor Cingolani’s situation does have some similarities, but they also allegedly they knew each before the murder took place. Although that fact doesn’t make it any less unusual.

What’s the psychology behind this? Is it a case of love being blind? According to an article by trutv.com – experts suggest there are several reasons why a woman might fall in love or develop feelings for convicted killer.

  • Need to nurture – a woman may see the little lost boy inside.
  • The perfect boyfriend – it’s the perfect boyfriend, the woman knows exactly where he is & what he’s doing (mostly) also don’t have those everyday issues: did you take out the trash?
  • Hybristophilia – other people’s violent acts can be a turn on
  • Exclusivity – they exclusively know their lovers facts & crimes, privy to their story
  • Vicarious fantasies – their lover has acted out their violent fantasies
  • Low self-esteem
  • Eminence – high profile killers give them status
  • Beauty and the Beast syndrome – moth & flame scenario

(The reverse instances of males falling in love with convicted female killers rarely takes place however – I wonder why)

Edith’s belief in her husband’s may yet to turn out to be justified – it wouldn’t be the first time a person has been wrongly convicted. I hope for her sake she’s right.

On the other hand, they did choose Valentine’s Day to tie the knot! Anyone who’s seen or heard anything about this story must think that’s nuts all on it’s own – especially if you’ve looked at the suggested psychological reasoning. There’s only two ways to see this. It’s either the noblest and greatest declaration of love a person could make, or it’s the biggest craziest poke in the eye.

About The Woman

What a Woman Really Wants a Man To Wear

About The Woman - what a woman wants

By Lazurite, Flickr.com

Builder’s bum also referred to as the crack of doom in some cultures – is caused by men out of shape wearing overly saggy jeans (normally builders, and male relatives). Of course this never happens to me, but it makes you think what other men’s clothes do women hate

What’s good for thy neighbor. It’s time to be honest, some men could wear could wear shaggy wool pleated trousers, with a illuminous Hawiian shirt and look good. Unfortunately for the rest of us this may not apply.

What makes a woman pause mid sentence, while they allow their smoldering eyes to linger on you, as you ping on their guy radar? With the help of About The woman Let’s find out.

Shoes. Women care about what shoes, we wear almost as much as theirs. Men’s Health polled 800 women on what they like men to wear.

Personally I’m not a loafer kind of guy, but there again I’m not a woman either. Maybe that’s where I’m going wrong because Men’s Health found that 26% of women prefer men who wear them. Nice expensive looking loafers apparently conjure up images of, casual elegance, and a well to do comfortable lifestyle.

Other favorites for a woman include dress boots and wingtip dress shoes, I like both of these very much, it’s just too hot where I am for any kind of boot. Another surprise for me was that running shoes came out pretty high too.

But guys be warned if you want to impress a woman then those leather sandals, rubber flip-flops aren’t going to do it. Sorry guys – time to bin those Crocs.

Denim. I don’t need to be a woman to know denim looks great, on guys and girls. That said that there seems to a limit on what can past muster. Icanseewhatcolorboxershortsyougotonhip-hop-style jeans, are a big saggy failure, and apparently as bad wanna be rocker shredded denim.

Don’t worry there’s still hope! Mens Health found that a woman loves a man who wears vintage style jeans. A whopping 54% of them said that’s when men look the hottest.

Lovely pleated trousers. Lovely pleats are definitely the way to go…damn I forgot! Thought I was back in the 90’s again. All joking aside this is the 21st century and apparently pleats remind a woman of unfashionable senile old man! In fact 64% said not hot.

What a woman wants to see is a man in is flat pants (85%), straight legged pants, with a crisp line also came out on top.

Hawaiian Shirts. Hawaii is one of the coolest places on earth, what woman would not want to go there? Hawaiian shirts? That’s completely different, no go girl wants go there.

Offensive T-shirts. Hey guys how are old are you really? Well unless you’re a teenager, drinking your first beer, or on some of kind stag night they ain’t cool. Fat guys try harder or FBI, female body inspector or I support single moms – won’t get the right kind of sparky reaction that the t-shirt guy promised. You’d be better of buying a can of deodorant.

Good luck with impressing the women, I hope you find yourself the subject of that smoldering gaze! By the way I’ve cleaned out my wardrobe no flip-flops, pleated trousers or hip-hop-style jeans for me! I’m off shopping.

About The Woman

Sex Addiction Fact or Fantasy?

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By Jessicalrone, Flickr.com

Which of these isn’t a real disorder? Choose one: a) sex addiction b) hoarding c) binge eating. Okay I guess the title of my blog gives you a clue. Yep, you know how I think it’s sex addiction.

Okay so now you’re wondering who decides.It’s a good question because oddly enough it sounds very plausible to me, certainly at least as much as hoarding. But there again I’ve never known a hoarder, I mean a sex addict! Getting back to the question.. in the USA it’s the American Psychiatric Association (APA) who decides, and last December they decided not to include sex addiction in their health handbook.

But I guess people can get addicted to anything right? It’s one thing when APA says there’s no such thing, butwhat about the string of famous personalities who’ve either demonstrated this behavior or openly admitted it? So I’m betting all the high end psychotherapists are not writing this one addiction off so quickly. Especially when such big names as Tiger Woods, David Duckovny have demonstrated sex addiction like tendencies. Okay these stars are not official sex addicts, but there are more than a few male celebs who’ve gone on the record as being.Micheal Douglas, was a famous womanizer before our dear Catherine whipped him into shape. Kayne West and Charlie Sheen have both gone on record as being sex addicts – but there again those pair will say almost anything.So far I’ve only mentioned guys, but don’t worry there are some girls too. However most of them like Jennie Ketcham either worked in the adult movie industry before hand, or had suffered with other several addictions, which dubiously coincided with TV shows.

Just how many people are addicts? This is just a weird coincidence I promise you, but I’m writing this article at a hotel, in Hong Kong that charges $50 dollars for using the internet, for which I’m too mean to pay. But from earlier research, I found the estimates in the UK are that 6% of a population is sex addicted and one in five women. Rather selectively I don’t have the numbers for men, but it wouldn’t surprise if it was more.

So just in case, any rich celebs are reading this what are the symptoms? Apparently “recurrent and intense sexual fantasies, sexual urges, and sexual behavior,” we all have these right? But if all these urges last several months then you’re in trouble. Phew.. it’s a relief it doesn’t really exist, because if it did every teenage boy on the globe and several of my friends would have to seek professional help.

On a serious note, addictions of any kind can be very devastating with long last repercussions on the lives of the people it affects. But what are the official symptoms (before the APA changed their mind)? Like other addictions the person is driven to seek out and engage in the act seeking all the benefits and ignoring the negative impacts. According to a BBC Health article, casual sex and general JFK marital behavior are not the only symptoms. More precise ones may include:

  • Excessive use of pornography
  • Feeling worried about the possible behavior
  • Wanting to stop or change your sexual behaviour
  • Feeling unable to stop, despite wanting to
  • Using sex as a way to cope with other problems
  • Needing more sex to get the same fulfillment
  • Feeling very low or guilty after
  • Spending large amounts of time planning or engaging in sex
  • Missing important social events or even work in order to pursue sex

So what’s the treatment? The worst thing would be to find another addiction – it’s sounds kind of funny, but in my personal experience people who are addicted to one thing are often predisposed to other forms as well. With all addictions the first and most important step is admitting to having a problem.

The debate is still open, whether it exists or not, or whether it’s a compulsive behavioral or addiction. However the treatment would involve psychological therapies, behavioral therapies all leading to the person understanding their condition and the consequences.

About The Woman

Advantages of Dating a Cougar

About The Woman - Advantages of Dating a Cougar

By Fifth World Art, Flickr.com

Forget about dating a younger woman to find love, how about dating the older, more experienced woman! This is exactly what seems to be happening. But why would a much younger man date a cougar? Simply, there are a lot of reasons to find an older woman attractive, you only have to look towards Hollywood for evidence of this. Of course men need women, but what is it that attracts men to mature cougars, is it simply love?

Experience –A lot of men want to look like the strong one in the family, or other relationships, it’s the we are programed. But think about it are we always that confident or self-assured? Of course not, just like anything else it depends on the individual. One thing is for sure, younger people are often attracted to more experienced people, because the appear to be more confident and in control of their relationships.

Stability – The older woman is mature, experienced and self-reliant. Younger women are often more flighty and changeable. Many men also crave stability in a relationships – it’s not just a woman who might want this. Whether that craving for stability extends to financial, or just the sense of it, depends. The older lady is also less likely to play games, and more likely to know what they want from a relationship.

Looking goodAssuming our hot cougar is a career or successful woman, then they will access to beautiful places to do yoga, or stylish gyms and even plastic surgeons. Okay that sounds a little excessive, but the point I’m trying to make is that the modern woman, has lifestyle choices that enable them to keep looking good. It’s not just for the Hollywood elite.

SuccessfulRealistically most men are not looking for a Demi Moore, or any other hot celeb cougars and they don’t have to. The world we live in presents men with plenty of opportunities to find a mature, sexy, successful woman. It’s never been better for women as business or political leaders, the CEO of the New York Times is Jill Abramson, Chritine Lagarde head of the IMF, and Indra Noovi at PepsiCo and I’m just scratching the surface. Politics and self made women also top the Forbes list of powerful people. But you don’t have to date a Forbes list woman either, there are plenty of successful professionals from accountants to doctors everywhere.

Broaden your horizonsBeing with an older woman or man can have it’s own advantages. Take Demi Moore, would Ashton Kutcher ended up on CBSTwo and a Half Men” without the help of Demi? Correct me if I’m wrong but I honestly only remember him in really very bad rom-coms before that. According to New York Post last year recently she took her new love Vito Schnabel to India for a celebrity birthday party. Perhaps she’s changed again. It’s hard to keep track of her relationships. But think about it, what a trip that must have been! He would have been knee deep in a cool place thats oozing with culture, surrounding by the elite and famous. What experience that would have been. It certainly would have broadened all kinds of horizons.

If we are being honest people come together for many reasons, sometimes people will voice them, sometimes not. What is love? It’s different for everyone I think, but one things for sure it’s not easy to find and when cupid strikes what can we do? We should not let age, race or class get in the way that’s for certain. But we should love and not give up on those relationships.

There’s an old Hindu saying goes something like this – there’s many paths to the top of the mountain, the person wasting their time is the man running around the mountain telling others they are taking the wrong path. I agree.

About The Woman

AskMen Hungry For Jennifer Lawrence

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by ElHormiguero, flickr.com

AskMen, asked the world in an international poll, and it’s official Jennifer Lawrence is the most desired woman in the world. You may not actually know the name, I also had to double check, but she’s the woman who rose to fame in the The Hunger Games. Although what may have really helped her was the role in Silver Linings Playbook where she played a sex-mad young widow – doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see how that might have influenced the voting.Bassil editor in chief of AskMen said “Overall, there’s a sense that she’s a little more authentic than other actors.” He also suggested because the public know so little about the 22 year old, there’s really little negative opinion out there about her. In comparison to the success of her movies to date, she’s pretty much avoided any damaging headlines in the media.

How does it work?

The results are taken from 2.4 million readers, the question is: which celebrity would they choose for a partner? Some celebs have fared better than others. Sofia Vergara of Modern Family and the universally popular Kim Kardashian saw their votes go down. Although in Kim’s case plummet would be more accurate. I have to be honest Kim is not one of my favorites either, there’s something about the woman, she is beautiful, savvy, all things that I normally like but, I don’t know. Although I can understand how she got on the list. I’m pretty sure however that she will not be phased by her 90 place drop. On a positive note stars like: Mila Kunis, model Kate Upton, R&B star Rihanna and Emma Stone all managed to make the top 5.

When asked on how men choose their most desirable celebrity partner, Bassil suggested publicity played a big role. He went on to say if celebs were getting a lot of media or headline attention it would have strong influence on men’s opinions. Conversely too many headlines can actually can leave men “looking elsewhere” – so basically he doesn’t know either.

The younger woman weren’t the only age group on the man’s mind this year, the top rankings included a number of 40 year olds. This has been a trend for the last few years apparently. Bassil said “Like most things in life, attractiveness is extending into middle age. Who knows? In 20 years we could see 60-year-olds on the list.”

The over 40s that made the list: U.S. First Lady Michelle Obama, 48; comedienne Sarah Silverman, 42; actress Lucy Liu, 44; and British actress Rachel Weisz, 42.

About The Woman

Jennie Garth’s Ex’s New Relationship Stings

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by watchwithkristin, flickr.com

Jennie Garth Beverly Hills 90210 star who was ranked 59th on the FHM 100 Sexiest Women of 2000 admitted that her ex’s (Peter Facineelli) new relationship hurts. But after 11 years of marriage you really can’t blame her. It was about nine months ago when Peter Facinelli announced their divorce. Even though Jennie is making positive steps to move on – she’s dating someone special. It still hurts.

Peter Facinelli announced just last month that he was dating Jaimie Alexander who is a star of the Thor movies and 10 years younger than him.  But that’s okay because he’s a man. He’s definitely not Demi Moore, and there’s no danger of him being compared to a female cougar. Double standards? I think so.

Jennie in my opinion is being a bit more classy about the whole thing and is keeping her lips sealed about who her new flame is. She has so far avoided taking her new man to any blockbuster movie premiers – unlike her Ex! She went on to tell People magazine. “I think there will come a time when it won’t sting so bad, but I’m not quite there yet.”

Despite the sting of it all, the two still remain friends and by all reports she is glad, he is happy with his new relationship. Unlike other Hollywood couples – I’m really tempted to mention certain former bond girl and her men. They have both remained on good terms for the sake of their three lovely daughters Luca, Lola and Fiona.

In rather un-Hollywood fashion they have apparently sat down, and rather sensibly worked out an agreement for sharing their beautiful kids over the Christmas holidays. In Jennie’s own words “We are co-parenting and getting the hang of it”.

About The Woman

Demi Moore The Cougar?

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By TechCrunch50-2008, flickr.com

Demi Moore is apparently dating another younger man 26 years old! Is she alone? Valerie Gibson, a famous Canadian celebrity who wrote for the Toronto Sun newspaper as their their sex and relationship columnist. It’s said she was the first to have coined the phrase “cougar” which refers to the older woman dating the younger man. Gibson herself has been married 5 times, the last time was to a man years younger than her.

So what do we do? Do we shame, ignore them or congratulate them for still being sexy, attractive empowered women? Are we even being fair in regards to this topic,  I pretty sure Bruce Willis has dated much younger women. It’s normal such a normal thing in Hollywood for man to date the younger woman, it’s so normal that people hardly talk about it. Double standards? I say hell yes! But what do you think?

Historical cougars

So why are young guys even dating older cougars, in the first place? What is it about the woman who’s a little older? Possibly there’s too much competition for younger girls? Possibly because the older successful man is snapping up the younger woman at every opportunity, at least it’s seem this way with the celebs and elite.  I’m not sure it’s even fair to be focusing on the cougars themselves, it does take two to tango afterall. Perhaps it’s the fashion for the younger man to date the older woman. Maybe it’s the guys who chooses to hunt for the older beautiful woman and not the other way around.

Younger men have been attracted to powerful women since long before we came up modern day concepts of right or wrong.  Such cougars included, Elizabeth I, Catherine the Great, more recently Elizabeth Taylor and even a goddess – guess that would be the ultimate cougar catch. I wouldn’t want to be the young buck dumping Aphrodite, I bet she would do than just divorce you and take the dog. See full article.

Why now?

So what’s happening why does it seem to be a bit of trend at the moment? For decades women have been fighting for more equality, and since the 1950, 60’s, and 70’s the woman’s lifestyle, image and life choices have improved immensely. But what has changed? Women have better jobs, they have  equality, both in the law and in society’s eyes. Women’s health has also be brought into the fore of the  public’s consciousness.  Divorce rates in most western countries have sky rocketed since the 1980’s, you could say that the fall of religion is to blame, or even the stresses of modern life. However I’d like to thing a big contributing factor would be the increased ability of the woman to make her own marital choices, and to seize their own fate, free of public judgement or contempt.

Whatever lead to the present is one huge question and I’m not an expert. But what I know is that there are a lot of women over 40 who are empowered, wealthy or financially stable. A young woman is drawn to an older strong man. So why can’t the same be said of a young man to a  mature empowered woman? There’s simply no reason at all. Gone are they days where a divorced, or the widowed woman is expected to just fade away and become old maids. So what so special about the woman now? Nothing really but they do have the same rights to go out, and do the same stupid, smart things or even questionable things that a man can do. Although this is not the case in every country, but women have earned the right to be a cougar, if that’s what they want to do. Life’s too damn short.

I say power to Demi! I just hope she takes a bit more care of her heart and mind this time. I also wish good luck to whoever she dates. Demi is a talented actress, a mother and incredibly beautiful woman. She in many ways is the ultimate cougar, am I jealous? Maybe just a little.

About The Woman

Dating Tips For Men

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About The Woman – Dating and Relationships

What do you want from a relationship?

Most of us are defined by our lifestyle, friends and all the other things we like to do.  So you’re a single man, she’s a single woman but would you be willing to change a little for a new love prospect? It’s impossible to have your cake and eat it, so what compromises are you willing to make? Remember when you have your first couple of dates everyone’s going to be on their best behavior, and a woman may tolerate the horrible shirt you’re wearing, or even the bar you’re meeting your buddies at. But once you’ve decided it’s a relationship you want to be in, it’s probably time to figure out what you both want. Problems come in a relationships when people are unwilling to change, or unwilling to communicate about their needs clearly.

Be yourself

A woman’s either going to like you or she’s not, so just be yourself. If you’re trying to be somebody you’re not then it’s pretty damn difficult to look genuine. The truth is, most of us are funny enough, smart enough and we already have our own set of individual advantages. So give yourself a chance to let them shine. Be attentive, listen to your date, find out more about them, try to make them smile, and feel comfortable. Remember the reason you’re there is for them, not for the red wine, or because the bar has pay per view. It’s also good idea to leave the tech gadgets behind too. A girl may like your new iPhone 5, but it doesn’t mean a woman wants to see you playing with your apps, or tweeting to your mates about your date. It’s okay to be a geek, geeks are cool now, just be attentive.

Flirting is good

If the date is going badly you’re not going to have to worry about this, because you will know it! But as long as you’re getting on well, and you’re feeling pretty comfortable then why not test the water? I’m not suggesting that you swing your arm around the woman’s shoulders and start grinding hip. I’m talking subtle things, like touching her arm, or standing near her. If your date looks like she’s going to have kittens, or flinches then it’s probably way too early, or worse the attraction is not there. However, if none of these things happen it’s certainly a good clue that things are going as planned.

What if you’re not feeling it?

It happens, attraction is not always mutual by any stretch of the imagination.  If you’re not feeling the attraction, then don’t worry carry on with the date, and have a good time. It never hurts to make a new friend. However to give the wrong signals back to a woman would be unfair, I think we’ve all experienced that one.

Bad Vibes

Listen to your instinct if your “spider sense is tingling” try to end the date at the first polite opportunity. However you might feel, don’t run for the fire exit, or leaving the woman clutching the bill, while you’re climb through the men’s room window. Listen to your instincts, life’s tough enough already without jumping on the crazy train.

Put yourself in the woman’s shoes

You’re not digging it, she’s jumping into the cab and then you lie “I’ll call you!” If she senses the dates not gone well, you’re going to look like a real jerk. If she likes you, you’re going to be feeding a woman false hope and that’s never nice.

Confidence is the key

here’s a huge difference between my obnoxiously arrogant and confident. Women dislike arrogance, but they thrive on confidence. Practice does make perfect, and dating is no exception. My suggestion is that you talk to, or grab a coffee with a as many a woman as you can (mums don’t count). The lucky ladies might be friends or colleagues, it really doesn’t matter. The point is to get out there! Get back into the cut and thrust, it’s especially important if you’re painfully shy. Women like a man who can make eye contact, make decisions and men who are able to talk confidently on different topics. Although it might be an idea to avoid sounding like an expert on playing online games – I’ve met a lot of cool women but none were that cool.

Lack of eye contact is a big one, as is missing physical queues. This or misinterpreting body language can be disastrous in a date. Sometimes it’s as plain as your face, that a woman is interested. But if you’re too shy to return the attention, or you just don’t read it right, you could be missing your chance.

Something else to think about, you’ve had a few dates but you’re still not sure. Then why not introduce her to one of your female friends (again mums don’t count). This way, she can chat woman to woman and perhaps you can get some valuable feedback.

Places you know

It can be very interesting to introduce a date to a nice place you know, but a place they might not. You can use this to your advantage. Let’s face it, the timing of dates is not always synced with when we have lots of cash. The economy is hard everywhere right now, and the job market outright sucks. So why not choose a place where you know the prices are reasonable. It’s the worst feeling in the world to be afraid of what the bill is going to look like. At the end of the day, if you’re happy and relaxed the date will go better. Although KFC is never a good idea unless you’re in high school, just apply some common sense.

The truth is most women are looking for a good, kind guy, who’s genuinely interested in them. Despite movies and what most men think, fast cars, yachts, and diamond rings are not always what women want. There’s a beautiful woman out there for all of us, we just have to look around a bit sometimes.

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