A Man Needs a Woman, Does a Woman Need a Man?

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by *martin*, flickr.com

Women are tougher than men! The word is out, it’s official but I guess all you girls knew that already. My two big sisters who bullied me for most of my life knew it too, but that’s another post…

Men who lose their wives have a 30% greater chance of passing into the great beyond! The research was carried out by Professor Javier Espinosa, who led the research project at Rochester Institute of Technology, in the US.

We can’t avoid it obviously. It all happens to us all, unless you spend a million dollars to freeze your head in a dodgy facility. But apparently but the loss of a wife, or I guess a long time partner, leads to an increased chance of mortality for elderly men within 2 years.

Professor Javier Espinosa suggests that after a death of their partner elderly men are less prepared to take care of themselves than women. The reverse situation is quite different. It seems that a man needs a woman, but does a woman need a man? In the reverse situation the statistics don’t play out the same at all. The research didn’t uncover evidence of a statistically increased chance for recently widowed woman to suffer the same fate.

This research raises more questions than it answers. Did they factor in health, or physically differences between women and men? I’m not sure they did, but the Professor did suggest it might be down to a care-giving mechanism. He went further to suggest that this mechanism prepares women to carry on their lives, alone.

His research was carried out on couples who were born between 1910 – 1930. Another interesting yet sad aspect of the research was highlighted. He found that after a loss of a child, a woman was 3 times more likely to suffer mortality. This seemed to be independent of social factors such as education, class or marital status.

For some of us this research may seem to make sense, my experience of parents and grandparents seem to bear this out. My grandmother outlasted a husband and a live-in-partner. Is it possible for us to die of a broken heart? University Clinic of Rostock, Germany suggest this might be the case due to increased level of stress and adrenaline.

Prof Espinosa’s study, co-written by William Evans from the University of Notre Dame, was published in the Economics and Human Biology journal

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Demi Moore The Cougar?

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By TechCrunch50-2008, flickr.com

Demi Moore is apparently dating another younger man 26 years old! Is she alone? Valerie Gibson, a famous Canadian celebrity who wrote for the Toronto Sun newspaper as their their sex and relationship columnist. It’s said she was the first to have coined the phrase “cougar” which refers to the older woman dating the younger man. Gibson herself has been married 5 times, the last time was to a man years younger than her.

So what do we do? Do we shame, ignore them or congratulate them for still being sexy, attractive empowered women? Are we even being fair in regards to this topic,  I pretty sure Bruce Willis has dated much younger women. It’s normal such a normal thing in Hollywood for man to date the younger woman, it’s so normal that people hardly talk about it. Double standards? I say hell yes! But what do you think?

Historical cougars

So why are young guys even dating older cougars, in the first place? What is it about the woman who’s a little older? Possibly there’s too much competition for younger girls? Possibly because the older successful man is snapping up the younger woman at every opportunity, at least it’s seem this way with the celebs and elite.  I’m not sure it’s even fair to be focusing on the cougars themselves, it does take two to tango afterall. Perhaps it’s the fashion for the younger man to date the older woman. Maybe it’s the guys who chooses to hunt for the older beautiful woman and not the other way around.

Younger men have been attracted to powerful women since long before we came up modern day concepts of right or wrong.  Such cougars included, Elizabeth I, Catherine the Great, more recently Elizabeth Taylor and even a goddess – guess that would be the ultimate cougar catch. I wouldn’t want to be the young buck dumping Aphrodite, I bet she would do than just divorce you and take the dog. See full article.

Why now?

So what’s happening why does it seem to be a bit of trend at the moment? For decades women have been fighting for more equality, and since the 1950, 60’s, and 70’s the woman’s lifestyle, image and life choices have improved immensely. But what has changed? Women have better jobs, they have  equality, both in the law and in society’s eyes. Women’s health has also be brought into the fore of the  public’s consciousness.  Divorce rates in most western countries have sky rocketed since the 1980’s, you could say that the fall of religion is to blame, or even the stresses of modern life. However I’d like to thing a big contributing factor would be the increased ability of the woman to make her own marital choices, and to seize their own fate, free of public judgement or contempt.

Whatever lead to the present is one huge question and I’m not an expert. But what I know is that there are a lot of women over 40 who are empowered, wealthy or financially stable. A young woman is drawn to an older strong man. So why can’t the same be said of a young man to a  mature empowered woman? There’s simply no reason at all. Gone are they days where a divorced, or the widowed woman is expected to just fade away and become old maids. So what so special about the woman now? Nothing really but they do have the same rights to go out, and do the same stupid, smart things or even questionable things that a man can do. Although this is not the case in every country, but women have earned the right to be a cougar, if that’s what they want to do. Life’s too damn short.

I say power to Demi! I just hope she takes a bit more care of her heart and mind this time. I also wish good luck to whoever she dates. Demi is a talented actress, a mother and incredibly beautiful woman. She in many ways is the ultimate cougar, am I jealous? Maybe just a little.

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Halle Berry’s Gabriel Can’t See Kid

by brava 67, flickr.com

Gabriel Abury’s bad luck held out today as he got squashed again, this time in the court. Gabriel had hoped to get his restraining order lifted, but the Judge refused according to TMZ. Originally he had hoped to get it lifted on the 28th but now looks more likely on the 29th.

In another twist Gabriel has referred to Halle Berry as being his ex-wife in court. The information came out in the open according to Extra after he submitted court documents on Monday. This could well be an attempt to rub salt into the wounds, as the relations between him, Halle Berry and Olivier Martinez look set to sour further. See the full story at here.

This all comes days after a vicious assault that left Gabriel hospitalized. Both Gabriel and Olivier are pointing the fingers of blame at each other.

Meanwhile Christmas is coming, and it should be one to remember, for the Berry bunch.

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McHale’s Daughter Loses Fight For Life

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The Rockets, Huston Texas are in mourning after the sad news of yet another high profile death in the media. My condolences to Kevin Mchale on the loss of his daughter – Alexander Sasha Mchale who just 23 years old. She finally succumb to the disease “Lupus”. Kevin Mchale , is understandably taking leave from his position,nd it’s still unclear when he will return to the Houston Rockets. The owner of the Rockets has expressed sadness and both support for the family of Alexander Mchale.

What exactly is Lupus?

Under the circumstances I wanted to check this up, as I have only heard of the disease in vague reference before. You might already konw what it is but it’s a terrible “autoimmune disease”. The affects of the disease can obviously be devastating. Lupus which is also called Systemic Lupus Eerythematosus (SLE) can affect any part of the body. The condition often attacks organs, such as the kidney, brain, liver, as well as joints and the blood. The problem starts when the body creates anitbodies that end up attacking its own immune system, normally the body does this against antigens (foreign matter in the body).

How Common is it?

The disease itself is not that common, but it belongs to a group of autoimmune diseases that number over 80. As a group it is fairly common and it also includes, diabetes which is now a very prevalent condition in many developing countries.

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Surviving Family Gatherings

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About The Woman – Happy Families

Walking on egg shells, might be a good analogy for how some of us might feel at family reunions, whether it be thanksgiving or Christmas. With my last article in mind (Halle’s Thanksgiving Bash) let’s look at some ways that we can promote a healthier environment for our families at such tense times. After all they are our loved ones! The holidays can be stressful on everyone, and often unfairly hard on  a woman,  rightly or wrongly they are often under the spotlight especially from the partner’s family. Mum’s, wives and girlfriends can suddenly find themselves in the middle a world wind of activity, so it’s important not to forget for us guys to pull our weight too. It should be an opportunity to cement your relationship, rather than straining it.

Step 1

Small talk, are safe subjects we bring up so we don’t get into fights with people we hardly know.In fact we often nicer to people we hardly know, than to the people we grew up with, shared bedrooms with. I’m not saying we should sit around talking about the weather, or whether the ducks have flown south for the winter, but we could certainly go some ways to avoid sensitive topics. Make a mental list of what they are, although you probably know what they are already – money, inheritance, politics, religion, health issues, wars or perhaps even fantasy football. Just don’t go there!

Step 2

Do something that will bring you together, a game or a sport – I’m not talking about full contact sports in the living room. Watch a movie, talk about the good times, watch a sports game or even pick up a board game. Head off to the back garden, to a park kick, or throw a ball around. At holiday times, money can be a sensitive topic, so focus on the things you can do together. There are plenty of things you can do that won’t deepen your sense of stress, or fire feelings of inadequacy, or agitate emotional conflict.

Step 3

There’s been times in my own family, where my sister’s haven’t got on, or times when individual have expressed poor judgment with money, or other things. Whether feelings spring from jealous, or just personality clashes, it’s worth giving everyone a heads up on who’s coming, changes in the arrangements. It’s worth even sitting down with some members of your family, before hand to ask them to be on their best behavior. Nobody likes bad news or trouble, but if you know or talk about sticking points as early as possible, then at least people are prepared.

Step 4

It’s good to have a game plan. Ready yourself for mentally and physically for an extended period of time with your family. I still remember my Mother (a beautiful woman, a very talented lady) working days ahead of family events, with the help of my Dad. Planning and preparation, can be dull, just the logistics of planning a family day can overwhelming for anyone one person. But it should been seen as chance to get involved, showing that support and love. This will go a long way to minimize potential stress and conflict at family reunions. Whatever you do, don’t leave things to the last minute, make sure you’re not freaking out when the family day or period arrives.

Step 5

Last of all “don’t push it”, by this I mean don’t force issues. Give people time and space to work things over naturally. Don’t expect people who really don’t get on, to sit down next to each other and enjoy a beer while chatting happily. It’s important to remember who the peace makers are, who the inflexible people are, some individual even thrive on bickering and if you have one in your family then you know exactly what I mean.

Family reunions can be demanding to say the least, but when it’s all done and the dust settles, it’s probably time to go back to work. On the plus side this gives you enough time to think about the woman you love and time to plan your next vacation, hopefully far away from the family.

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