Clothes He Wants a Woman to Wear

About The Woman - Beautiful woman, class woman

By Ali Leila Images, Flickr.com

I agree that when it comes to themselves men can often be a bit “slapdash”, perhaps even “sloppy”. A shower, shave, brush our teeth, chuck on a pair jeans and that’s the job done in less than 20 mins! That’s how it works for most situations. Okay some guys do take longer, some girls less, but generally speaking this is how “us guys” roll.

So by our seemingly carefree way of getting ready, you’d think we didn’t care about what our woman is wearing – you’d be wrong! We may sit there slurping our beer pushing very specific buttons on our remote controls, looking all sedate, but we are always quietly observing like male lions on the African Savanna. And believe it or not, we actually care a great deal about how you dress. We may not throw tantrums or complain, but secretly there’s clothes we want you to wear, and there’s the clothes we don’t.

Anything tight – “you didn’t need me to point this one out I know”, but it’s the truth the majority of men like a woman to wear something that hugs the figure. Men enjoy the curves of a woman, and generally like to see the woman’s shape and form. Of course there are always some exceptions, some clothes do look really good loose.

Just hanging out – one of the woman’s favorite clothes on a bloke, is a pair god fitting jeans. Now here’s the thing, men aren’t so different after all. For just hanging out, snug fitting jeans and off the shoulder t-shirt will do the job nicely. Denim shorts also figure quite highly, at least from a man’s point of view.

Nights out – this might be the biggest challenge for a woman, how to look “sexy” and “classy” but not “trashy”. It’s not rocket science but men generally don’t find mismatching outfits that appealing, but we do like most most things short and matching. Yes it’s a cliché “that little black dress” – just make sure it’s not too short, it’s a good idea not to cross that line from hot look, to the working girl look. By the way that little black dress doesn’t necessarily have to be “black” men are not color blind we also like other colors too.

Shoes are made for walking – When it comes to the “wow sexy factor” , men love their woman to wear heels. Personally I love the elongated look those shoes give any woman’s leg, it’s a non fail – unless you don’t know how to walk in them. So if you’re planning to walk all over your man, these are the shoes you should be wearing. Just make sure your not wobbling like a cute baby stalk, or stomping like a scary storm trooper.

In the bedroom – I’ve always loved Christmas, nicely wrapped gifts and decorations. For me it’s the same for my bedroom partner. If she wants sparks to fly, then a matching set of sexy lingerie will do the trick. Again mismatching is a bit of let down for me, but I’m sure there’s a rainbow of preferences out there. Many other guys will go for simple t-shirts, tank tops or even shorts.

The stuff that gets us excited may vary but I’m betting the stuff that turns us off, isn’t. Universal turn offs are granny nighties and thick winter pajamas.

It’s important to remember the woman is their own biggest critic when comes to her figure. There’s something about the woman that brings out this inner critic, perhaps it’s the unfair “barbie pressure” from the media. But men love their women, along with all their wonderful physical imperfections! So don’t worry about wearing something to impress your man, because he won’t!

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How Not To Fail At Business With Your Wife

About The Woman - Doing business with your woman

by Life Mental Health, Flickr.com

You never get rich working for someone “probably”. So what’s the alternative? In these tough economic times all the options are on the table. Some people, maybe even you, might be considering going into business for yourself.

A long time ago, I went into business with the woman I loved – my girlfriend, I found out the hard way that wasn’t easy at all. I was very niave about it all to be honest. We did some things right, we did some things wrong.

Right & Wrong

We did our homework. We hooked up with a very experienced company that become our partners. They gave us all the knowledge to build on, along with trouble shooting advice (used that one a lot). Without them it would have been near impossible to start.

A shoestring – we started with way too little, a very skinny shoestring indeed. Get financed properly!

Not the right person – I invested in the wrong person (emotionally & financially). I knew it was the wrong person, but ignored that little voice.. you know what I’m talking about.

No backup – Starting a business in a relationship you’re not convinced about, is a recipe for trouble. It was also her home country and language. She walked away quite comfortable, I was left with my pride.

You don’t have to be like me

The wrong person is the wrong person, that’s independent of gender or relationship. I still believe the woman you love (or man) can make the best business partner. You just have to be smart about it, and there are several strong advantages for doing business him or her and I’m not alone in thinking this. According to the Small Business Administration – out of the 21 million small business in the USA, 90 percent are actually family owned. That’s an astounding display of confidence in family and yes, spouses.

Trust – who’d be better than your wife or husband? You have lived with them, you know them. More importantly your in it together, financially and emotionally.

Due diligence – I didn’t do this, but if you’ve been with your partner for a long time, then you probably have. You know their financial status, character and ability. You won’t be cheated by a fake license on the wall.

Extra mile – they will go that extra mile to keep things afloat in hard times. It’s a cliché but a fairly well known fact, most small business fail within the first year. If it’s a cash problem, one of you can take an extra job for a while, you can tighten your belt, miss a paycheck, live hand-to-mouth, or even take on extra responsibility if your skills allow. 

Together too much I won’t lie to you, this part was tough. But a well adjusted, mature minded, loving couple will find a way around this. Go home, don’t talk about work. Separate home from work, spend time doing fun things. See friends. I hated talking about business, it caused major problems and fights.

Be professional – We all have different skills sets, identifying these and can crucial in making any business better. You and your partner are no different. Assign roles to each other, according to skills and ability. If neither of you can do a job, hirer someone, perhaps a freelancer.

Trust in your partner’s ability – If you give someone a job to do, it means you trust in their ability. Don’t micro manage somebody else’s job, let them get on with it have regular meetings to check on key issues that are affecting your business and performance.

You still have to pay your spouse – I fell into this one too, I was too nice. Without a corporate structure and a HR department it’s difficult to put a value on your partner’s work, it’s very easy to lose perspective. Keep things afloat is the first priority, but you must pay or share with your spouse too.

They’re only human after all.

Outside advice and help – When we had a shortage of skills, knowledge or experience we either consulted with someone or hired someone. That part worked well. If personally you’re have problems find someone who will constructively listen to you both. Bottom line – if your relationship is at risk, look for help.

Goals and missions – with any business you need to determine your companies mission from the go-get. As you company grows you need to keep your eye on the ball, and make sure your achieving what you set out to do.

Remember to forgive, remember why you wanted to start the business together with the woman you love in the first place.

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Woman Marries Twin Sister’s Killer

About The Woman - Strange Love

by thezartorialist.com, Flickr.com

Strange love

A woman’s body was found in the town of Pico Truncado in southern Santa Cruz province in 2010. It turned out to be Edith Casas‘ twin sister “Johana Casas”. She was shot to death. A sad story indeed, but it took a twist. This woman went on to marry her sister’s convicted killer, last (Victor Cingolani) last week – Valentine’s Day.

It reads like some kind of “B-Movie horror script”, but it really happened! So honestly this got me thinking. What kind of woman or person might be attracted to such a guilty looking individual. Edith Casas has polarized her home country “Argentina” not to mention her family. What it is about the woman? Edith believes the evidence is insufficient, but what kind of person would take a chance on marrying her sister’s killer?

Convict love

But should we be so quick to judge? Doesn’t a similar thing happen in the states? The USA’s prison population per 100,000 ranks as the highest in the world. With a prison population of about 1.6 million, it’s unsurprising that the USA has it’s own share of convict love.

Abc covered the case of Tim McDonald and Teresa Deion Smith Harris. The two had never spent a night together, and more than likely (at the time of writing) never would, but they got married anyway. He is a convicted killer, serving a life sentence without the possibility of parole.

Teresa is not alone either, thousands like her get involved in such relationships. In a similar case Jennifer Hyatte who was a nurse at a correctional facility, had an inappropriate relationship with her convict lover and was later fired. Details are sketchy, but in 2004 they were both on the run after she killed a guard to spring him from custody. I think it’s safe to say she loved him too.

Prison officials say inmates convicted of the most heinous crimes tend to attract the most attention from pen pals”

Why are they attracted?

Edith’s and her Victor Cingolani’s situation does have some similarities, but they also allegedly they knew each before the murder took place. Although that fact doesn’t make it any less unusual.

What’s the psychology behind this? Is it a case of love being blind? According to an article by trutv.com – experts suggest there are several reasons why a woman might fall in love or develop feelings for convicted killer.

  • Need to nurture – a woman may see the little lost boy inside.
  • The perfect boyfriend – it’s the perfect boyfriend, the woman knows exactly where he is & what he’s doing (mostly) also don’t have those everyday issues: did you take out the trash?
  • Hybristophilia – other people’s violent acts can be a turn on
  • Exclusivity – they exclusively know their lovers facts & crimes, privy to their story
  • Vicarious fantasies – their lover has acted out their violent fantasies
  • Low self-esteem
  • Eminence – high profile killers give them status
  • Beauty and the Beast syndrome – moth & flame scenario

(The reverse instances of males falling in love with convicted female killers rarely takes place however – I wonder why)

Edith’s belief in her husband’s may yet to turn out to be justified – it wouldn’t be the first time a person has been wrongly convicted. I hope for her sake she’s right.

On the other hand, they did choose Valentine’s Day to tie the knot! Anyone who’s seen or heard anything about this story must think that’s nuts all on it’s own – especially if you’ve looked at the suggested psychological reasoning. There’s only two ways to see this. It’s either the noblest and greatest declaration of love a person could make, or it’s the biggest craziest poke in the eye.

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Sex Addiction Fact or Fantasy?

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By Jessicalrone, Flickr.com

Which of these isn’t a real disorder? Choose one: a) sex addiction b) hoarding c) binge eating. Okay I guess the title of my blog gives you a clue. Yep, you know how I think it’s sex addiction.

Okay so now you’re wondering who decides.It’s a good question because oddly enough it sounds very plausible to me, certainly at least as much as hoarding. But there again I’ve never known a hoarder, I mean a sex addict! Getting back to the question.. in the USA it’s the American Psychiatric Association (APA) who decides, and last December they decided not to include sex addiction in their health handbook.

But I guess people can get addicted to anything right? It’s one thing when APA says there’s no such thing, butwhat about the string of famous personalities who’ve either demonstrated this behavior or openly admitted it? So I’m betting all the high end psychotherapists are not writing this one addiction off so quickly. Especially when such big names as Tiger Woods, David Duckovny have demonstrated sex addiction like tendencies. Okay these stars are not official sex addicts, but there are more than a few male celebs who’ve gone on the record as being.Micheal Douglas, was a famous womanizer before our dear Catherine whipped him into shape. Kayne West and Charlie Sheen have both gone on record as being sex addicts – but there again those pair will say almost anything.So far I’ve only mentioned guys, but don’t worry there are some girls too. However most of them like Jennie Ketcham either worked in the adult movie industry before hand, or had suffered with other several addictions, which dubiously coincided with TV shows.

Just how many people are addicts? This is just a weird coincidence I promise you, but I’m writing this article at a hotel, in Hong Kong that charges $50 dollars for using the internet, for which I’m too mean to pay. But from earlier research, I found the estimates in the UK are that 6% of a population is sex addicted and one in five women. Rather selectively I don’t have the numbers for men, but it wouldn’t surprise if it was more.

So just in case, any rich celebs are reading this what are the symptoms? Apparently “recurrent and intense sexual fantasies, sexual urges, and sexual behavior,” we all have these right? But if all these urges last several months then you’re in trouble. Phew.. it’s a relief it doesn’t really exist, because if it did every teenage boy on the globe and several of my friends would have to seek professional help.

On a serious note, addictions of any kind can be very devastating with long last repercussions on the lives of the people it affects. But what are the official symptoms (before the APA changed their mind)? Like other addictions the person is driven to seek out and engage in the act seeking all the benefits and ignoring the negative impacts. According to a BBC Health article, casual sex and general JFK marital behavior are not the only symptoms. More precise ones may include:

  • Excessive use of pornography
  • Feeling worried about the possible behavior
  • Wanting to stop or change your sexual behaviour
  • Feeling unable to stop, despite wanting to
  • Using sex as a way to cope with other problems
  • Needing more sex to get the same fulfillment
  • Feeling very low or guilty after
  • Spending large amounts of time planning or engaging in sex
  • Missing important social events or even work in order to pursue sex

So what’s the treatment? The worst thing would be to find another addiction – it’s sounds kind of funny, but in my personal experience people who are addicted to one thing are often predisposed to other forms as well. With all addictions the first and most important step is admitting to having a problem.

The debate is still open, whether it exists or not, or whether it’s a compulsive behavioral or addiction. However the treatment would involve psychological therapies, behavioral therapies all leading to the person understanding their condition and the consequences.

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Forgive Lance Armstrong & Big Fat Momma 

About The Woman - Relationships &Love, Lies

By DonkeyHotkey, Flickr.com

What is love? Why do we sometimes seem so hell bent on destroying our love and relationships. I sometimes think that people are programed to self-destruct. Lance Armstrong is doped, the whole world knows it. But who are the victims? His team mates, marriage, and perhaps a friend or two. After many years of lying he probably doesn’t even have a single friend who would stand by him publicly.

In the fact the whole story reads like the script of Big Fat Momma’s House. A man tries to do something good, but lies – Lance Armstrong. The main character is trying to catch the bad guy and win the day – Tour De France, but along away people start to believe in him. Lance Armstrong  spends the rest of the movie getting into dubious situations while trying maintain his Big Fat Momma disguise. Finally just like the real one (who was also an imposter of the real thing), he gets caught, while trying to do what he feels is right.

The differences are he caught the bad guy (Tour De France) several times and kept on lying – while making tons of cash. Unlike the fake Big Fat Momma, he kept on lying even when the latex mask started to peel off.  Like Big Fat Momma, Lance Armstrong got the girl – seven of them, but he had to give them back.

Lance raises some ugly questions about us – In the general context, and in relationships why do we feel we have to lie? How many times have we, or will lie to our loved ones and friends? Does it really matter if we are trying to do the right thing or wrong thing, then lie? “Oh I was just protecting you”, is that really ever the case? Politicians, husbands, wives, criminals often confess, but when? That’s right, after they were caught. Blah blah hindsight and all that, but I’m not talking about hindsight. What I’m talking about is the need to do lie in first instance – that little white lie. So when do we feel we have to lie in relationships?

You don’t want to be with that woman or man? Then don’t cheat on them. Give him/her a chance to find somebody that does want to be with them. Man up, and just be single. If there are other things you’re lying about, then talk about it with someone. If we can try to understand why we feel, or do things it can be an extremely useful tool in prevention. If we take the example of having an affair, it’s much easier to talk about why we feel the need to cheat with someone, than actually cheating. As a good friend once advised me “It’s the perfect crime, until you get caught.” Don’t do it in the first place and you won’t have to lie.

It’s not my fault, it’s life – I agree to a point. We do have unreal expectations, dumped on us, every where we are told if we drink that beer we get the hot girls, or if we buy the gadget we will look handsome and automatically get a better job. Lance’s case he pretended to be superman and he was in many ways, from cancer to a wonderful athlete. But once he showed the world he was superman, that’s when it all got worse.

If we blame Lance, or even Big Fat Momma, then we need to take a closer look at ourselves. Why do we only confess when we are caught? Why do we feel a need to do this stuff, why are we so destructive? Most importantly for Lance Armstrong and for us, what are the reasons behind our confessions? If we confess only because we were caught, then how are we “or him” going to move forward? I’m not picking on Lance Armstrong (or Big Fat Momma), I’m just using him for SEO, but the question remains why do we get ourselves into these situations?

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Demi Moore The Cougar?

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By TechCrunch50-2008, flickr.com

Demi Moore is apparently dating another younger man 26 years old! Is she alone? Valerie Gibson, a famous Canadian celebrity who wrote for the Toronto Sun newspaper as their their sex and relationship columnist. It’s said she was the first to have coined the phrase “cougar” which refers to the older woman dating the younger man. Gibson herself has been married 5 times, the last time was to a man years younger than her.

So what do we do? Do we shame, ignore them or congratulate them for still being sexy, attractive empowered women? Are we even being fair in regards to this topic,  I pretty sure Bruce Willis has dated much younger women. It’s normal such a normal thing in Hollywood for man to date the younger woman, it’s so normal that people hardly talk about it. Double standards? I say hell yes! But what do you think?

Historical cougars

So why are young guys even dating older cougars, in the first place? What is it about the woman who’s a little older? Possibly there’s too much competition for younger girls? Possibly because the older successful man is snapping up the younger woman at every opportunity, at least it’s seem this way with the celebs and elite.  I’m not sure it’s even fair to be focusing on the cougars themselves, it does take two to tango afterall. Perhaps it’s the fashion for the younger man to date the older woman. Maybe it’s the guys who chooses to hunt for the older beautiful woman and not the other way around.

Younger men have been attracted to powerful women since long before we came up modern day concepts of right or wrong.  Such cougars included, Elizabeth I, Catherine the Great, more recently Elizabeth Taylor and even a goddess – guess that would be the ultimate cougar catch. I wouldn’t want to be the young buck dumping Aphrodite, I bet she would do than just divorce you and take the dog. See full article.

Why now?

So what’s happening why does it seem to be a bit of trend at the moment? For decades women have been fighting for more equality, and since the 1950, 60’s, and 70’s the woman’s lifestyle, image and life choices have improved immensely. But what has changed? Women have better jobs, they have  equality, both in the law and in society’s eyes. Women’s health has also be brought into the fore of the  public’s consciousness.  Divorce rates in most western countries have sky rocketed since the 1980’s, you could say that the fall of religion is to blame, or even the stresses of modern life. However I’d like to thing a big contributing factor would be the increased ability of the woman to make her own marital choices, and to seize their own fate, free of public judgement or contempt.

Whatever lead to the present is one huge question and I’m not an expert. But what I know is that there are a lot of women over 40 who are empowered, wealthy or financially stable. A young woman is drawn to an older strong man. So why can’t the same be said of a young man to a  mature empowered woman? There’s simply no reason at all. Gone are they days where a divorced, or the widowed woman is expected to just fade away and become old maids. So what so special about the woman now? Nothing really but they do have the same rights to go out, and do the same stupid, smart things or even questionable things that a man can do. Although this is not the case in every country, but women have earned the right to be a cougar, if that’s what they want to do. Life’s too damn short.

I say power to Demi! I just hope she takes a bit more care of her heart and mind this time. I also wish good luck to whoever she dates. Demi is a talented actress, a mother and incredibly beautiful woman. She in many ways is the ultimate cougar, am I jealous? Maybe just a little.

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Dating Tips For Men

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About The Woman – Dating and Relationships

What do you want from a relationship?

Most of us are defined by our lifestyle, friends and all the other things we like to do.  So you’re a single man, she’s a single woman but would you be willing to change a little for a new love prospect? It’s impossible to have your cake and eat it, so what compromises are you willing to make? Remember when you have your first couple of dates everyone’s going to be on their best behavior, and a woman may tolerate the horrible shirt you’re wearing, or even the bar you’re meeting your buddies at. But once you’ve decided it’s a relationship you want to be in, it’s probably time to figure out what you both want. Problems come in a relationships when people are unwilling to change, or unwilling to communicate about their needs clearly.

Be yourself

A woman’s either going to like you or she’s not, so just be yourself. If you’re trying to be somebody you’re not then it’s pretty damn difficult to look genuine. The truth is, most of us are funny enough, smart enough and we already have our own set of individual advantages. So give yourself a chance to let them shine. Be attentive, listen to your date, find out more about them, try to make them smile, and feel comfortable. Remember the reason you’re there is for them, not for the red wine, or because the bar has pay per view. It’s also good idea to leave the tech gadgets behind too. A girl may like your new iPhone 5, but it doesn’t mean a woman wants to see you playing with your apps, or tweeting to your mates about your date. It’s okay to be a geek, geeks are cool now, just be attentive.

Flirting is good

If the date is going badly you’re not going to have to worry about this, because you will know it! But as long as you’re getting on well, and you’re feeling pretty comfortable then why not test the water? I’m not suggesting that you swing your arm around the woman’s shoulders and start grinding hip. I’m talking subtle things, like touching her arm, or standing near her. If your date looks like she’s going to have kittens, or flinches then it’s probably way too early, or worse the attraction is not there. However, if none of these things happen it’s certainly a good clue that things are going as planned.

What if you’re not feeling it?

It happens, attraction is not always mutual by any stretch of the imagination.  If you’re not feeling the attraction, then don’t worry carry on with the date, and have a good time. It never hurts to make a new friend. However to give the wrong signals back to a woman would be unfair, I think we’ve all experienced that one.

Bad Vibes

Listen to your instinct if your “spider sense is tingling” try to end the date at the first polite opportunity. However you might feel, don’t run for the fire exit, or leaving the woman clutching the bill, while you’re climb through the men’s room window. Listen to your instincts, life’s tough enough already without jumping on the crazy train.

Put yourself in the woman’s shoes

You’re not digging it, she’s jumping into the cab and then you lie “I’ll call you!” If she senses the dates not gone well, you’re going to look like a real jerk. If she likes you, you’re going to be feeding a woman false hope and that’s never nice.

Confidence is the key

here’s a huge difference between my obnoxiously arrogant and confident. Women dislike arrogance, but they thrive on confidence. Practice does make perfect, and dating is no exception. My suggestion is that you talk to, or grab a coffee with a as many a woman as you can (mums don’t count). The lucky ladies might be friends or colleagues, it really doesn’t matter. The point is to get out there! Get back into the cut and thrust, it’s especially important if you’re painfully shy. Women like a man who can make eye contact, make decisions and men who are able to talk confidently on different topics. Although it might be an idea to avoid sounding like an expert on playing online games – I’ve met a lot of cool women but none were that cool.

Lack of eye contact is a big one, as is missing physical queues. This or misinterpreting body language can be disastrous in a date. Sometimes it’s as plain as your face, that a woman is interested. But if you’re too shy to return the attention, or you just don’t read it right, you could be missing your chance.

Something else to think about, you’ve had a few dates but you’re still not sure. Then why not introduce her to one of your female friends (again mums don’t count). This way, she can chat woman to woman and perhaps you can get some valuable feedback.

Places you know

It can be very interesting to introduce a date to a nice place you know, but a place they might not. You can use this to your advantage. Let’s face it, the timing of dates is not always synced with when we have lots of cash. The economy is hard everywhere right now, and the job market outright sucks. So why not choose a place where you know the prices are reasonable. It’s the worst feeling in the world to be afraid of what the bill is going to look like. At the end of the day, if you’re happy and relaxed the date will go better. Although KFC is never a good idea unless you’re in high school, just apply some common sense.

The truth is most women are looking for a good, kind guy, who’s genuinely interested in them. Despite movies and what most men think, fast cars, yachts, and diamond rings are not always what women want. There’s a beautiful woman out there for all of us, we just have to look around a bit sometimes.

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