Clothes He Wants a Woman to Wear

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By Ali Leila Images, Flickr.com

I agree that when it comes to themselves men can often be a bit “slapdash”, perhaps even “sloppy”. A shower, shave, brush our teeth, chuck on a pair jeans and that’s the job done in less than 20 mins! That’s how it works for most situations. Okay some guys do take longer, some girls less, but generally speaking this is how “us guys” roll.

So by our seemingly carefree way of getting ready, you’d think we didn’t care about what our woman is wearing – you’d be wrong! We may sit there slurping our beer pushing very specific buttons on our remote controls, looking all sedate, but we are always quietly observing like male lions on the African Savanna. And believe it or not, we actually care a great deal about how you dress. We may not throw tantrums or complain, but secretly there’s clothes we want you to wear, and there’s the clothes we don’t.

Anything tight – “you didn’t need me to point this one out I know”, but it’s the truth the majority of men like a woman to wear something that hugs the figure. Men enjoy the curves of a woman, and generally like to see the woman’s shape and form. Of course there are always some exceptions, some clothes do look really good loose.

Just hanging out – one of the woman’s favorite clothes on a bloke, is a pair god fitting jeans. Now here’s the thing, men aren’t so different after all. For just hanging out, snug fitting jeans and off the shoulder t-shirt will do the job nicely. Denim shorts also figure quite highly, at least from a man’s point of view.

Nights out – this might be the biggest challenge for a woman, how to look “sexy” and “classy” but not “trashy”. It’s not rocket science but men generally don’t find mismatching outfits that appealing, but we do like most most things short and matching. Yes it’s a cliché “that little black dress” – just make sure it’s not too short, it’s a good idea not to cross that line from hot look, to the working girl look. By the way that little black dress doesn’t necessarily have to be “black” men are not color blind we also like other colors too.

Shoes are made for walking – When it comes to the “wow sexy factor” , men love their woman to wear heels. Personally I love the elongated look those shoes give any woman’s leg, it’s a non fail – unless you don’t know how to walk in them. So if you’re planning to walk all over your man, these are the shoes you should be wearing. Just make sure your not wobbling like a cute baby stalk, or stomping like a scary storm trooper.

In the bedroom – I’ve always loved Christmas, nicely wrapped gifts and decorations. For me it’s the same for my bedroom partner. If she wants sparks to fly, then a matching set of sexy lingerie will do the trick. Again mismatching is a bit of let down for me, but I’m sure there’s a rainbow of preferences out there. Many other guys will go for simple t-shirts, tank tops or even shorts.

The stuff that gets us excited may vary but I’m betting the stuff that turns us off, isn’t. Universal turn offs are granny nighties and thick winter pajamas.

It’s important to remember the woman is their own biggest critic when comes to her figure. There’s something about the woman that brings out this inner critic, perhaps it’s the unfair “barbie pressure” from the media. But men love their women, along with all their wonderful physical imperfections! So don’t worry about wearing something to impress your man, because he won’t!

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Sex Addiction Fact or Fantasy?

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By Jessicalrone, Flickr.com

Which of these isn’t a real disorder? Choose one: a) sex addiction b) hoarding c) binge eating. Okay I guess the title of my blog gives you a clue. Yep, you know how I think it’s sex addiction.

Okay so now you’re wondering who decides.It’s a good question because oddly enough it sounds very plausible to me, certainly at least as much as hoarding. But there again I’ve never known a hoarder, I mean a sex addict! Getting back to the question.. in the USA it’s the American Psychiatric Association (APA) who decides, and last December they decided not to include sex addiction in their health handbook.

But I guess people can get addicted to anything right? It’s one thing when APA says there’s no such thing, butwhat about the string of famous personalities who’ve either demonstrated this behavior or openly admitted it? So I’m betting all the high end psychotherapists are not writing this one addiction off so quickly. Especially when such big names as Tiger Woods, David Duckovny have demonstrated sex addiction like tendencies. Okay these stars are not official sex addicts, but there are more than a few male celebs who’ve gone on the record as being.Micheal Douglas, was a famous womanizer before our dear Catherine whipped him into shape. Kayne West and Charlie Sheen have both gone on record as being sex addicts – but there again those pair will say almost anything.So far I’ve only mentioned guys, but don’t worry there are some girls too. However most of them like Jennie Ketcham either worked in the adult movie industry before hand, or had suffered with other several addictions, which dubiously coincided with TV shows.

Just how many people are addicts? This is just a weird coincidence I promise you, but I’m writing this article at a hotel, in Hong Kong that charges $50 dollars for using the internet, for which I’m too mean to pay. But from earlier research, I found the estimates in the UK are that 6% of a population is sex addicted and one in five women. Rather selectively I don’t have the numbers for men, but it wouldn’t surprise if it was more.

So just in case, any rich celebs are reading this what are the symptoms? Apparently “recurrent and intense sexual fantasies, sexual urges, and sexual behavior,” we all have these right? But if all these urges last several months then you’re in trouble. Phew.. it’s a relief it doesn’t really exist, because if it did every teenage boy on the globe and several of my friends would have to seek professional help.

On a serious note, addictions of any kind can be very devastating with long last repercussions on the lives of the people it affects. But what are the official symptoms (before the APA changed their mind)? Like other addictions the person is driven to seek out and engage in the act seeking all the benefits and ignoring the negative impacts. According to a BBC Health article, casual sex and general JFK marital behavior are not the only symptoms. More precise ones may include:

  • Excessive use of pornography
  • Feeling worried about the possible behavior
  • Wanting to stop or change your sexual behaviour
  • Feeling unable to stop, despite wanting to
  • Using sex as a way to cope with other problems
  • Needing more sex to get the same fulfillment
  • Feeling very low or guilty after
  • Spending large amounts of time planning or engaging in sex
  • Missing important social events or even work in order to pursue sex

So what’s the treatment? The worst thing would be to find another addiction – it’s sounds kind of funny, but in my personal experience people who are addicted to one thing are often predisposed to other forms as well. With all addictions the first and most important step is admitting to having a problem.

The debate is still open, whether it exists or not, or whether it’s a compulsive behavioral or addiction. However the treatment would involve psychological therapies, behavioral therapies all leading to the person understanding their condition and the consequences.

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Advantages of Dating a Cougar

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By Fifth World Art, Flickr.com

Forget about dating a younger woman to find love, how about dating the older, more experienced woman! This is exactly what seems to be happening. But why would a much younger man date a cougar? Simply, there are a lot of reasons to find an older woman attractive, you only have to look towards Hollywood for evidence of this. Of course men need women, but what is it that attracts men to mature cougars, is it simply love?

Experience –A lot of men want to look like the strong one in the family, or other relationships, it’s the we are programed. But think about it are we always that confident or self-assured? Of course not, just like anything else it depends on the individual. One thing is for sure, younger people are often attracted to more experienced people, because the appear to be more confident and in control of their relationships.

Stability – The older woman is mature, experienced and self-reliant. Younger women are often more flighty and changeable. Many men also crave stability in a relationships – it’s not just a woman who might want this. Whether that craving for stability extends to financial, or just the sense of it, depends. The older lady is also less likely to play games, and more likely to know what they want from a relationship.

Looking goodAssuming our hot cougar is a career or successful woman, then they will access to beautiful places to do yoga, or stylish gyms and even plastic surgeons. Okay that sounds a little excessive, but the point I’m trying to make is that the modern woman, has lifestyle choices that enable them to keep looking good. It’s not just for the Hollywood elite.

SuccessfulRealistically most men are not looking for a Demi Moore, or any other hot celeb cougars and they don’t have to. The world we live in presents men with plenty of opportunities to find a mature, sexy, successful woman. It’s never been better for women as business or political leaders, the CEO of the New York Times is Jill Abramson, Chritine Lagarde head of the IMF, and Indra Noovi at PepsiCo and I’m just scratching the surface. Politics and self made women also top the Forbes list of powerful people. But you don’t have to date a Forbes list woman either, there are plenty of successful professionals from accountants to doctors everywhere.

Broaden your horizonsBeing with an older woman or man can have it’s own advantages. Take Demi Moore, would Ashton Kutcher ended up on CBSTwo and a Half Men” without the help of Demi? Correct me if I’m wrong but I honestly only remember him in really very bad rom-coms before that. According to New York Post last year recently she took her new love Vito Schnabel to India for a celebrity birthday party. Perhaps she’s changed again. It’s hard to keep track of her relationships. But think about it, what a trip that must have been! He would have been knee deep in a cool place thats oozing with culture, surrounding by the elite and famous. What experience that would have been. It certainly would have broadened all kinds of horizons.

If we are being honest people come together for many reasons, sometimes people will voice them, sometimes not. What is love? It’s different for everyone I think, but one things for sure it’s not easy to find and when cupid strikes what can we do? We should not let age, race or class get in the way that’s for certain. But we should love and not give up on those relationships.

There’s an old Hindu saying goes something like this – there’s many paths to the top of the mountain, the person wasting their time is the man running around the mountain telling others they are taking the wrong path. I agree.

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If Only Santa Was a Woman – Unwanted Gifts

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by North Charelston, flickr.com

Christmas friend or foe, either way it’s gone for another year. But what’s left? Big stomachs, ruined bank accounts, headaches, screaming kids that don’t want to go back to school, more than a few unwanted gifts, and that’s just me! So how about the rest of the world? But seriously what do you do?

Why do we even buy presents in the first place? Guys will buy a gift for a woman they love and other people will buy fabulous gifts which are loaded down with good intentions. But what is it? Guilt, pressure, love or just simply a case of keeping up with the Joneses? One thing for certain, the original religious concept has become somewhat neglected, forgotten or even shunned by popular opinion. Even when we do remember the genesis of the idea, it’s molded into plastic and sold as an action figure.

What about all those gifts we don’t want? The advertisements, pressure from colleagues, commercials for credit cards and loans offer no advice. All these tools of commercialism only point in one direction, and that’s towards the checkout. There are however a few shining lights out there from the odd individual, to the online business. Some of these offer useful solutions to the overdose of unwanted presents.

Not everybody is out to make a quick buck from our problems, according to a story by Reuters there’s actually a pretty cool shop in Slovenia which opened just in time for Christmas.  The idea behind the shop is simple yet important.  Basically if you don’t like a gift then simply change it for one you like.  To quote the shop owner “people get and give too many present nowadays” and I think the shop owner is 100% right.

In some cultures especially in China cash really is king when it comes to gifts. Yes you could say it’s a cold, perhaps even an unthoughtful kind of gift – but there’s no denying its versatility.

Gift cards are increasingly popular gifts, I especially like them when it comes to kids. As opposed to cash, it allows you moderate control on what they kids will blow their money on. But these sentiments maybe the thing’s biggest downfall. What happens when you get a gift to a shop you stylistically have nothing in common with? What are your options if you have a gift card you don’t like, can you take it back to the shop in question and get the cash? Not likely, at least not in that shop. But there are ways according to The Daily Beast.

Cash back sites – the middle man will take a cut!

Giftcards.com, will assess the cash back value, mail you a check or even transfer funds via paypal. Gift Card Granny, it’s a smiliar variation on the above, it scans sites that will give you the most value for you card.Just be prepared to make a small loss on the value of the gift card.

Then you have old faithful – Ebay. There’s always loads of people who are wanting to get their hands on a bargain. But you will have to prepared to sell for a lesser amount, but it’s better than being stuck with a card you hate.

Other options

Gift card rescue, works with Amazon, you get a bonus 5 percent for changing it too an Amazon gift card. Cardpool, works much the same way.

Charities can benefit too. Plastic Jungle allows you to donate the cash on the card to a worthy charity, its aligned with a few such as Red Cross. Plastic Jungle rather cunningly allows you add air miles as well, in cooperation with United Airlines.

Traditional gifts

If the gift is a more traditional kind of gift you can deal with it in similar ways. You could try holding a swap party. People rewrap the gifts they don’t want, and give them to someone else – of course they ran the risk of getting disappointed twice. Or you could do it the boring way and not wrap them – an episode of The office springs to mind. Just make sure things are of a similar value!

Returning stuff to the stores can be an option. It depends on the store of course, not all stores have equal policies on returning gifts. Just check the policies for online and locations for shops. But of course if it’s given to you then you might have little choice, you’re going to have to roll with the punches.

Re-gifting, I have done this and felt horrible about it. But that doesn’t mean you have to. In my case I had to go back overseas and didn’t have the luggage space, so I off loaded the gift and saved time, and money (but it still didn’t feel right). Although seriously why not? I think the key issue is, to choose more carefully than the person who you gifted it to you in the first place. The lucky person might appreciate it more than you did.

Donate it! Just like the gift cards, donating something can be a rewarding experience and in my book a much nicer feeling option than just simply re-gifting. I have a friend who just a few years ago, gave 100’s of man sized teddy bears to a load of kids that needed a bit of happiness in their lives – although in this case they were just extra teddies from the factory. But honestly the kids didn’t care about how they got them, they were happy just the same.

About The Woman, Merry Christmas Everyone!

Human Trafficking a Mother’s Love

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by Ira Gelb, Flickr.com

Buenos Aires, Argentina — 13 people accused of human trafficking and in the disappearance of a young woman who was allegedly kidnapped and forced into prostitution which is just another kind of modern slavery.

What is human trafficking?

The typical countries that are plagued by people trafficking humans, are normally lawless, places where the police are ineffective, typically a place where corruption and bribery are rife. These kinds of countries are prone to kidnapping, forcing women and children in prostitution, sometimes through drug addiction and almost always through coercion.

People who live on the fringes of society are often most affected by this, or even persecuted groups that have little legal status. Mostly it’s women and children who which are the unfortunate targets, for this life of sex and slavery.

My country doesn’t have that problem

You would be wrong to think this. Human traffickers are in every country, but what are the statistics for human trafficking? It’s estimated by organizations that as many as 3 million people women and children every year are the targets of the human trafficking trade.

The U.S. State Department’s estimated numbers for trafficking of people, in and across US borders are somewhat lower, at something between 600,000 and 800,000 per year. This is still too high by a long way. It’s been estimated that trafficking in women makes up some 80% of the human trafficking trade.

What about slavery?

Lets look again at the numbers – an estimated 3 million per year! So in the 21st century there is more trafficking in women and young girls than slavery in the 18th century. So basically, how far have we really evolved? There are more women and girls being forced into brothels annually than African slaves sent to toil in the plantations 300 years ago. According to a US report, the volume of human trafficking in the Middle East, and Africa are at critical levels, a trend that is likely to continue unless more is done about it.

Prostitution is not a crime everywhere

It’s true in many countries, it’s not illegal. What about Argentina? Argentina like some European countries allow prostitution. But whether you agree with this or not that’s a different point. But the prevailing thought is, if it’s legalized and governed there is less chance for the underworld element, and the business of trafficking humans to take advantage of it.

What’s the Buenos Aires connection?

At the start of the story I mentioned Buenos Aires, so what’s so special about Argentina? Well at the moment, Argentina is at the focus of the world’s attention and at the epicenter of a movement that’s working hard to break up human trafficking, within its borders

At the center of that movement is a mother, her name is Susana Trimarco’s. Her story is as equally inspiring as it is sad and tragic. She lost her daughter to human trafficking, she was snatched while coming back from a doctors appointment, leaving a 3 year old daughter behind. I say lost because in the process of freeing 100’s of women, Susana has yet to find her daughter.

Susana has her work cut out for her as she fights corruption in the police force, and within corruption in the political system. As a result of her investigations 13 ringleaders have come under arrest, but in case that’s dawn massive amount of media attention the ringleaders (who have all been implicated in her daughters disappearance and forced prostitution have just been acquitted and will not face any further jail time. The 13 ringleaders include both men and women, it was part of a well organized family business – women also often play key roles in women trafficking, sometimes as recruiters or in managing victims of human trafficking.

Raised Awareness

She has won recognition across her own, country, South America, North America and even won a Noble nomination for her work. But I am sure, the only thing on her mind is helping women like her daughter and the fight to find her daughter again. In this, her Mother’s love will not let her rest until she is found.

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(more on Susana Trimarco, coming soon)

Paparazzi vs Anne Hathaway 2:1

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Hollywood’s sweetheart Anne Hathaway’s wedding to Adam Shulman, was perfect friends and family were all there, the kind of wedding any woman would dream about. The wedding planers had done the perfect job. There really was only one problem, yes that’s right wedding crashers and I’m not talking about the movie with Vince Vaughan. You’re probably way ahead of me, and you’re right. I’m talking about the beloved, ever present, yet necessary paparazzi.

Why do I say necessary? Well if you remember the Diana incident several holier than thou celebs jumped on the paparazzi bashing band wagon, and did vehemently in public – which was covered rather ironically by the paparazzi. However it appears that even the paparazzi have feelings because after the event several of crusading stars, failed to get any newspaper attention for their, movies, bust-ups and premiers – the paparazzi boycotted them.

Back to Anne Hathaway. She had no such problem for her wedding as helicopter whizzed overhead, loaded with paparazzi. So we can call that 1:0 to the paparazzi.

But Anne Hathaway was not finished. She announced on David Letterman’s Late Show that she was incredibly angry and frustrated, as they’d tried very to avoid that very situation. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned – she wanted nothing better than to give the paparazzi the finger – can you imagine that! It would have been way better than any scene in her Bride Wars movie. Good sense prevailed, when Adam her hubby, advised against it, according to Dave’s interview.  Then a clever insider came up with the idea to steal the paparazzi’s thunder. They sold authorized pictures to a magazine and donated the proceeds to a support a Gay Charity Group. Very cunning indeed. Anne Hathaway 1, Paparazzi 1 – it’s looking like a draw, but the game’s not over.

If you have been reading the news yesterday and today, you would have seen the video interview of Anne with Dave. Yep, that’s the one, Anne is giving the paparazzi a belated two handed two fingered – up your’s. That showed the paparazzi! They won’t mess with feisty Anne again! Wrong!

Anne is being critically acclaimed and looks a very strong contender to receive and an Academy Award for her role of the emaciated Fantine, in Les Miserables film. As she arrived at the Ziegfeld Theatre wearing her bondage inspired dress, she had the ultimate dress malfunction happened (no photo provided). She stepped out of her SUV, she showed a lot too much leg and not enough underwear to all her Les Miserable fans. In fact there wasn’t any underwear, which was the crux of the problem.

It wasn’t all bad news though. Her friends were there – the paparazzi. The ever vigilant paparazzi, displayed their characteristic determination, and dedication in documenting every single embarrassing moment of the celeb lifestyle (and sell it!). Then bingo!

Final score 2:1 to the paparazzi! But the celeb soccer arena that’s called Hollywood, has many teams and even more players. There are sure to be more close games and re-matches and cries of fowl play. Just keep an eye out for the flashing cameras and for the les miserables caught on film.

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AskMen Hungry For Jennifer Lawrence

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AskMen, asked the world in an international poll, and it’s official Jennifer Lawrence is the most desired woman in the world. You may not actually know the name, I also had to double check, but she’s the woman who rose to fame in the The Hunger Games. Although what may have really helped her was the role in Silver Linings Playbook where she played a sex-mad young widow – doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see how that might have influenced the voting.Bassil editor in chief of AskMen said “Overall, there’s a sense that she’s a little more authentic than other actors.” He also suggested because the public know so little about the 22 year old, there’s really little negative opinion out there about her. In comparison to the success of her movies to date, she’s pretty much avoided any damaging headlines in the media.

How does it work?

The results are taken from 2.4 million readers, the question is: which celebrity would they choose for a partner? Some celebs have fared better than others. Sofia Vergara of Modern Family and the universally popular Kim Kardashian saw their votes go down. Although in Kim’s case plummet would be more accurate. I have to be honest Kim is not one of my favorites either, there’s something about the woman, she is beautiful, savvy, all things that I normally like but, I don’t know. Although I can understand how she got on the list. I’m pretty sure however that she will not be phased by her 90 place drop. On a positive note stars like: Mila Kunis, model Kate Upton, R&B star Rihanna and Emma Stone all managed to make the top 5.

When asked on how men choose their most desirable celebrity partner, Bassil suggested publicity played a big role. He went on to say if celebs were getting a lot of media or headline attention it would have strong influence on men’s opinions. Conversely too many headlines can actually can leave men “looking elsewhere” – so basically he doesn’t know either.

The younger woman weren’t the only age group on the man’s mind this year, the top rankings included a number of 40 year olds. This has been a trend for the last few years apparently. Bassil said “Like most things in life, attractiveness is extending into middle age. Who knows? In 20 years we could see 60-year-olds on the list.”

The over 40s that made the list: U.S. First Lady Michelle Obama, 48; comedienne Sarah Silverman, 42; actress Lucy Liu, 44; and British actress Rachel Weisz, 42.

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